


Right Girl

by SmoakingGreenArrow



Series: Right Girl [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, High School AU, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2018-11-03 15:05:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 35,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10969737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmoakingGreenArrow/pseuds/SmoakingGreenArrow
Summary: Felicity meets Oliver after she transfers to Starling Academy, a high school she never wanted to step foot in.





	1. First Sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning that this story will have mild content of rape/non consent. It is not explicit, mostly focusing on healing and moving forward for certain characters, so I did not want to use the archive warning. But it is touched upon and will be present in this story.

Being the new girl in high school was always hard, but mom was forcing me to go to a prep school now; one that I didn't even believe we could afford. I guess after being kicked out of three other schools, she didn't have very much of a choice.

I wasn't heartless. I felt terrible that my mother had to send me here; almost as much as I hated the idea of having to deal with privileged, idiotic stoners all day. It would be worse than the idiotic jocks I had to deal with at my old schools. I knew I wouldn't be dealing with football players here though. The school didn't even have a football team. I was a little curious to do an observational study on which form of boy was worse; the jocks who tried to get into your pants by flexing and slapping your ass when you walked by, or the rich boys who tried to get into your pants by flaunting their money in your face and revving the engines of their fancy cars. 

This might be the worst school I've ever been to, but I also knew that I had to try to play nice. For my mom.

I could play the part, I could blend in. I had the blonde hair to get me started, but if I'd learned anything, it was that looks only got you so far, and if I wanted to fly under the radar here, I couldn't tear down any cheerleaders and I couldn't verbally ruin the prep squad of boys I knew would be interested to meet me. New girls at school are like shiny toys to high school boys. The guys always have to find out if we're worth the effort of playing games with; if it's worth it to chase us, as long as we sleep with them soon after. I'd have to play along this time, even though I knew everything inside of me would want to shove my high heel into their crotches.

I took a deep breath, glancing at myself in the mirror before stepping out of my car and into the sunny parking lot. I pulled at my dress, adjusting the fabric, my heels tapping on the pavement as I lifted my chin. All eyes were on me. The problem with private schools is how small they are; there weren't actually that many families in this city that could afford Starling Academy. These kids were all of the children of all of the businessmen, politicians, and lawyers that lived outside of The Glades.

Everyone noticed me, and I was pretty sure that the entire school had gotten a nice long stare, or glare, by the time I reached the school's office. "Felicity," The receptionist smiled as I walked in, as if she knew exactly who I was already.

I would have rolled my eyes, but I was dedicated to playing nice here. So I smiled back. "Hi," I glanced down at her name tag, "Sharon. Nice to meet you."

She blushed, "I try to give all the new kids here a warm welcome. Here's a printed copy of your class schedule, in case you need it. You start with Mr. Baird's Statistics course in room 311. I've asked this lovely first-year to show you where the class is, since she decided to skip it yesterday."

I turned around to look at the brown haired girl slouching in the chair behind me. She looked equally as thrilled as I felt to be here. "I'm Felicity Smoak." I said, smiling as sweetly as I could and holding out my hand.

"Thea," She answered, ignoring my hand and standing up. _This is why I have a hard time playing nice_ , I thought as I dropped my hand. "Stats is this way," she wandered into the hallway without another word. I gave Sharon another smile before following my welcoming tour guide. She glanced at me as she walked ahead, towards the staircase, eyeing my outfit. "Nice," she turned her back to me again, "you'll fit in here just fine." I took in her jean shorts and ripped Metallica t-shirt.

"I thought they had a 'professional attire' dress code here." I said, smirking at her converse sneakers. 

"Not when your family donated the whole west wing of the building." she flashed me a sarcastic, annoyed smile. 

"I see," I said, following her around the corner and onto the third floor. "So, Thea, what should I know about Starling Academy?"

Thea leaned against the lockers outside of room 311, "Stats isn't worth your time," she gestured her hand for me to go in. 

I looked at her, and all I could really see was an angry, confused girl who was trying to be cooler than she really was. "Oh yeah? Then why, as a freshman, are you taking a 300 level course in it?" Thea glanced away, and I stepped closer. "See, I have a feeling that you're smarter than you want people to know. You think that the edgy outfits and 'I don't give a shit' demeanor will make people leave you alone, but you're not actually sure that you want to be the loner."

Her eyes darted to meet mine, and I watched as anger flashed. "You think you know me? You don't know the first thing about me."

I shrugged, "Rich girl raised with a silver spoon in her mouth lashes out due to the pressure to become what mommy and daddy want her to be."

Thea glared, "You think you have me figured out, huh?"

"I've known people like you. And your plan won't work." I said, wondering how long she'd go through the 'I'm an edgy, angsty teen' phase before she grew up and decided to become the trophy wife of a Mayor or CEO.

I turned on my heel and headed for the door. "Yours won't either." She responded. I gave her one last look before going into the classroom, and watched as she bailed on class again, storming off down the hallway. Rich kids were predictable, if anything.

* * *

 During lunch, I sat at one of the giant, round tables. Alone. It was like they chose these tables, big enough to seat fifteen students, just to make the ones who sat by themselves feel even lonelier. But it did give me the opportunity to watch. I watched and analyzed the cliques. The boys pretty much all looked the same; tall, muscular, and handsome. They also all seemed to mostly be friends, of course with the occasional outcasts and nerds who were probably here on scholarships rather than paid for by their wealthy family trust fund.

The girls were what interested me though. Those differences were much more noticeable. There was the cheerleader clique, obvious by their uniforms; the honor student clique, obvious by their noses hidden in text books; the lacrosse girls, obvious by their braided hair and loud voices yelling about a game this weekend; the artists, the musicians, the 'I'm in every club' girls that were bust planning prom or something; and of course the stoners, where I could easily see my new friend Thea sneaking out of the cafeteria and ducking behind the building.

I rolled my eyes, typical.

"Hi," 

I looked up to see a dark haired boy with bright blue eyes standing above me. "Hello," I said, putting my apple down. He hesitated, like he was nervous. I watched as he glanced back at his buddies, who were all nudging each other and giggling. I rolled my eyes. "Please, sit, give them something to pat you on the back for."

The boy cocked his head to the side, his eyebrow raising at my comment, and I bit my lip. _Nice, Felicity. Way to not be snarky._

He sat down beside me though, throwing one more glance over his shoulder. "I'm Tommy."

I nodded, holding out my hand. "Felicity."

"I know."

I raised an eyebrow, "Oh do you?"

"Well, yeah. This school only has 500 kids, it's kind of easy to recognize a new face when you've spent the past three years looking at the rest of them." 

I nodded again, I didn't really know what else to say. To be honest, I wasn't really used to talking to boys. I usually scared them off through sarcasm, or I just talked computers and they got bored enough that they'd leave me alone. Luckily, I was saved by the bell. "Well Tommy," I said, jumping up from my seat, "It was really nice to meet you."

"Yeah...you too, Felicity." He walked beside me as I threw my things in the trash, and I eyed him suspiciously. "Sorry," he said, laughing at himself, "I bet the last thing you want is some random guy trying to hit on you on your first day."

I raised an eyebrow, "Is that what you're doing?"

His face got red, "Well, no. I was just wondering if you'd want to stop by a party tonight. It's right on the beach, tonight at 10:00."

"With you?" I asked.

"Uh, no, not necessarily, I mean, we can definitely call it that if you want, but I just thought, you know, you being new and all, that I'd invite you. I could introduce you to everyone. I'm sure most of the school will be there, start of the year party and all. We're having a bonfire. You'll see it when you pull into the parking lot, it'd be hard to miss."

I tried to read his expression, wondering if this was some new girl hazing thing. The kid just looked nervous and optimistic. I sighed. If I wanted to survive this school without getting kicked out, I needed to make friends. "Sure."

He smiled, relief and happiness washing over him. "Okay. I'll see you there, then."

* * *

It was my last class of the day and I couldn't stop glancing up at the clock. Not only was English my least favorite subject, but the teacher was droning on about _Romeo and Juliet_ , a play I had read every year since middle school, and at every school I'd ever been to. As soon as the bell rang I sprang from my seat and started shoving my books into my bag. "Hey," a voice said from behind me. I sighed, turning around and taking a deep breath. This was really not the best time to make more friends, I just wanted to get home and curl up in my pajamas and watch reruns of reality television while eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

"Hi," I responded, zipping my bag and putting it over my shoulder. "I'm Felicity, but I'm kind of in a rush to get home," I said, smiling and rolling my eyes as I offered my hand to the boy in front of me, "My mom needs my help giving our cat his shots," the boy took my hand hesitantly and shook it while I rambled on like a crazy person in the hopes of him never talking to me again. "He's a slippery little fella, I have to hold him down while my mom injects the shot, it usually involves a lot of screaming by all three of us. And claws. Painful scratching."

He nodded slowly, "Okay...I'll let you get home then..."

"Great," I smiled brightly, "see you tomorrow!" I tapped his shoulder before running off, not bothering to mention that we'd never actually introduced ourselves.

I didn't slow down until I reached my car, avoiding eye contact with every student I passed. Once inside my car, I gave myself two seconds for a little happy dance that I was finally out of that hell hole, until tomorrow morning at least. Tommy passed in front of my car with his herd of friends, including the guy I'd just blown off.

I waved and they both waved back with sheepish smiles. Yikes. No thanks. No love triangles for this girl.

I put my keys in the ignition, more excited to go home than I'd ever been when my car made a familiar, heart dropping noise. The engine rattled and fought to start before screeching and turning over. I sighed, letting out a groan and slamming my head on my steering wheel.

Worst. Day. Ever.

"Do you need help with that?"

I looked up to find my third unwanted boy of my first day at Starling Academy, leaning against the passenger side of the car parked next to me. But at least this one was offering something I needed. "You know how to fix _that_?" I asked, gesturing toward the hood of my car.

The boy shrugged, "pop it and let me take a look." I popped my hood and he walked over, opening it up as I got out and moved to stand beside him. "Hm," he said, reaching down to fidget with some parts. Grease was on his hands immediately, and I felt a little bit embarrassed until I remembered that he was a preppy boy and some grease on his hands wouldn't hurt him.

"So, you know how to fix it?"

"Not sure yet," he answered. I watched for a moment as he played around with the insides of my car until I got bored and took a seat on the curb. He glanced down at me from over his shoulder, "You can sit in your car if you want. Or mine." to which I only shrugged, watching the people as they passed, getting into their own cars and going home. "I'm Oliver. Queen."

"Felicity. Smoak." 

He nodded, turning his attention back to my car, "So Felicity, how'd you end up at SA?"

"How did you?" I shot back without thinking. It was a relatively safe question, unless you were me and had a record of not meshing very well with high school administrations.

Oliver glanced down at me again, obviously wondering why I wouldn't answer his question. "My parents paid for the west wing of the school."

I bit my lip, "Your Thea's brother." Part of me felt bad for snapping at a guy who offered me help, and the other part of me didn't want to think of him as a nice guy. 

His eyebrows raised in surprise, "Wow, first day and you've already met the elusive Thea Queen. I feel like I haven't seen her at school since it started."

"She's...an interesting girl."

"She's something, all right." He answered, smirking. He clearly wasn't too worried about his sister's behavior, the look on his face seemed like he actually admired her rebellious attitude. It made me curious about her; how I'd written her off as a spoiled rich girl who was going through her defiant phase. "Are you going to answer the question, or should I just keep asking more so you can direct them back at me?"

I narrowed my eyes at him and he chuckled, turning his back to me and looking down at my car. "My mom made me come here," I said hesitantly but honestly.

"Why?" he asked, still adjusting and analyzing the car parts.

I paused, not sure how much I could trust this boy or how much about me I wanted him to know. I had a good feeling about him though, like he was different. And he was currently staying after school to fix my car when he could have just gone home. "I got into some trouble at my old schools."

"Schools?" he asked.

"People aren't always who they seem to be." I mumbled. 

He turned to look at me, trying to read me as much as I'd been trying to read him. After a moment of watching me, he smiled sweetly, "Story for another time, then. There's a party tonight, think you might go?" He changed the subject, turning away again.

"Uh," I had forgotten. "I don't know. Some guy named Tommy invited me, but I'm not sure."

"You should," he said, still focused on my car as he shrugged. After a moment of silence he sighed, turning around and wiping his greasy hands on his nice pants. "Look, I don't think that I'll be able to fix this. Why don't I call a tow and have them take it in, and I'll give you a ride home."

I pursed my lips, "Okay. Do we need to find your sister before we go?"

"No," Oliver shrugged, "She finds her own way home." He opened up the passenger door and offered me his hand to help me up. We both glanced down at the grease on his hands. I laughed, picking myself up and getting into his car. 

"What's Thea's deal, anyway?" I asked when he rounded the car and got behind the wheel. 

"She doesn't like to remind the kids here that she's a Queen. So that means she doesn't acknowledge me at school, and she definitely doesn't let me drive her home."

"Why is she trying so hard to not be a Queen?"

Oliver shrugged as he pulled out of the parking lot, "Queen Consolidated might be a successful business, but my family stepped on a lot of people to get it that way. I think Thea just wants to figure out who she is without the name, so she tries to associate herself with people who don't care about it. But in a school like this, the only people who don't care about your last name are the kids who are too high to care about anything."

As he spoke, he pulled out his phone and dialed, putting it to his ear and glancing at me, looking for my reaction. I wondered what exactly "stepping on a lot of people" meant, but I wasn't sure I actually wanted to know. It was his family's company after all, not his. I listened as he told the tow truck service where my car was, and handed me the phone to give them my address. 

After he hung up, I glanced at him, "And you?"

He met my eyes for a moment before looking back at the road, amusement behind his gaze that I wasn't about to drop this interesting conversation about his family. "I've come to terms with it. For now." He replied. I looked out of the front window as he drove, feeling a little bit guilty for the way I'd spoken to Thea Queen. Maybe there was at least one person in this school that I couldn't write off just yet. I glanced at Oliver again. Or two. "What about you, any brothers or rebellious sisters?" He asked.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "Only child."

He smiled at me, and I actually felt nervous. He had a gorgeous smile, one that made me sure the girls at this school were lining up to get his attention. I wondered if he gave it to them. By his easy-going demeanor and friendly attitude, I doubted he had any trouble finding dates. And why was I thinking about his social life? So he could smile at me and make me feel some butterflies, so what? "Hey," I said, looking out the window. "I never told you how to get to my apartment. Where are we going?"

Oliver gestured to his pants, "I was kind of hoping to stop home and change before I dropped you off. I live just a few blocks away. It'll only take a minute. Do you mind?"

I shook my head, curious and happy that I'd get to see where this guy lived.

I wasn't surprised by the mansion we pulled into a minute later, the Queen family ran half the city. The nice half at least. I felt a moment of panic, thinking about the apartment he'd be taking me home to, right at the edge of The Glades. It wasn't the worst apartment in the city at all, but it definitely didn't compare to this place. I shook my head, not realizing that he had gotten out until he opened my door. I didn't care what people thought of me, so I shouldn't care what Oliver Queen thinks about our apartment.

He lead me into the Queen mansion silently, probably guessing that I needed the silence to process the giant home. "Mom!" he yelled as he dropped his backpack in the foyer.

"Yes, Oliver, in here." He smiled and gestured for me to follow him into a study, where his mother sat on a sofa doing some kind of paperwork, spread out on the table in front of her and on the cushion beside her. She glanced up quickly as we walked in, ready to go back to the papers, but my presence seemed to catch her attention.

"Mom, this is Felicity Smoak, she's new at school."

"Hi, Mrs. Queen." I said, smiling, "It's nice to meet you." I offered my hand. The woman shook my hand while eyeing me the whole time, in that cautious mother way. _Jeesh, hello Ice Queen._

"Moira, please. Pleasure to meet you, Miss Smoak." She glanced at her son again, "You're bringing her through the front door, what a refreshing change."

My mouth dropped a little as Oliver hissed a sharp " _Mom_ ,"

"Where's your sister?" She asked, still barely looking up from her work. If this was the way Oliver and Thea grew up, I couldn't really blame Thea for not wanting to become like this woman; snide remarks and barely acknowledging her son.

"Probably at Ben's again, I'll see her tonight at the bonfire and make sure she comes home though." he promised.

Mrs. Queen sighed, "Please tell her that she needs to call me if she plans on staying the night somewhere else."

"I will." 

I glanced at the pictures on the wall as they spoke, plenty of Thea and Oliver, a few family photos, their parents' wedding. I noticed one photo that looked like a summer yacht party or something, that had Tommy in it along with Mr. and Mrs. Queen, Thea, and Oliver. Clearly Tommy was welcome in this family, unlike me it seemed, or any other girl Oliver brought home. I wondered if my judgment was a little off about him. He sneaks girls into his house through the back door? Maybe he _was_ a player and I was just blinded by the smile and the eyes and the hair and the little freckle by his mouth and everything else that made him very attractive to me.

"Well," Oliver said, "I'll be back in a bit, I just stopped to change my pants before I bring Felicity home." 

Moira glanced up, and then down at her son's pants, noticing that he was covered in grease for the first time. "What on earth happened to you?" She asked, her eyes amused.

"I...uh, Felicity was having car trouble."

Moira laughed, "Oliver, you don't know the first thing about fixing cars."

My eyes snapped up to Oliver. His lips were pursed as he shook his head at his mother, embarrassed, but I could see the humor in his eyes. He _faked_ it? Who would do that? My mind jumped to the conclusion that he was an asshole trying to get laid, before I realized that he hadn't even touched me; not once, not accidentally, hadn't even tried. I couldn't help the giant grin that spread across my face. " _What_?" I asked.

Oliver glanced up at me hesitantly, "Thanks, mom." he said. 

Moira was distracted by the paperwork in front of her again, but she glanced up at him with a warm smile, "Hm? Oh, you're welcome honey."

"Uh, my room's upstairs," he said, leading me back out into the foyer and up the staircase.

I followed quickly on his heels. "You tried to fix my car for fifteen minutes." I said.

"Yes," He sighed. He got to the top of the stairs and lead me down a hallway.

"You have grease all over you."

"I'm aware." He replied, opening the door to his room and walking over to his bureau. I followed him inside and sat down on his bed as he rummaged through his drawer and pulled out a pair of pants. He looked over at me as he unbuttoned his pants, and I raised an eyebrow. Rolling his eyes, he took his dirty pants off and pulled on the pair of jeans he'd picked out. Once clothed again, he shoved his hands in his pockets and met my eyes, not looking away this time.

"Well." I said. He continued to stare. "Why?"

"Why did I say that I could fix your car when I don't have the slightest idea on how to fix cars?" I nodded. He sighed again, "I saw an opportunity." He didn't look away from my eyes as he spoke. Under any other circumstances, I probably would have ran from that room screaming, or at least been totally creeped out that a guy would pretend to fix my car just to talk to me. But this was different, it felt different. I _liked_ that he did it. 

"To...?" I teased, "See if you could fix an engine?"

He threw me a look, glancing away with the hint of a smile pulling at his lips, "No. To talk to you."

"Well, why would you need such a messy excuse? Saying hello in the hallway would have been a lot less trouble."

Oliver shrugged, "My car was right next to yours...I heard that awful sound it made when you tried to start it...you looked so defeated...I figured that even if I couldn't magically become a mechanic long enough to fix it, that I could at least offer you a ride." Oliver sat down beside me on the edge of his bed and I looked at his eyes again. He laughed lightly, "Definitely on the list of stupid ideas I've had."

"Are you a nice guy?" I asked. The question kind of slipped out. It'd been in my head for the past hour of knowing him, but I hadn't meant to say it out loud. I usually made those judgments about men for myself. And the answer was usually no.

"I hope so." He said quietly, not looking away, letting me try to decipher if he could be trusted or not. Half of me _was_ trying to figure out if I wanted to let him in, the other half of me was wondering if he was going to try to kiss me, or if he'd stop me if I tried. "You've been hurt quite a bit, haven't you?...By too many people."

I looked away now, uncomfortable that he could read me like I could read everyone else. "I guess you could say that."

He smiled slightly, "Story for another time, then." He said softly, his words from earlier when he'd asked about what brought me to Starling Academy. He could see my boundaries, and he didn't push them, but his comment told me that he wanted to know. Sometime. I watched his eyes for another moment before I heard him take a deep breath, "I should get you home."

"Yeah," I replied, standing up. There was a pit forming in my stomach, wondering if Oliver Queen could actually see through me, if he'd actually try to hear those stories, to get to know me. But the knot was there because I was afraid of what would happen if he did, or if I could even let him.

* * *

"I have nothing to wear," I groaned, throwing more clothes out of my closet and onto my floor. My mom laughed from the doorway of my room. "It's not funny. What do you wear to a party on a beach? Dress? Jeans? Sweatshirt? Should I bring a bathing suit?"

"Wear whatever you'll be comfortable in, honey."

"Says the woman who wears six inch stilettos and body con dresses every day." I mumbled. My mom was in the middle of rolling her eyes at me when the doorbell rang and she lunged for the hallway. "No!" I screamed, "Please mom, go _hide_ in your room!" I hissed at her as I tried to gain my balance and chase after her. She was surprisingly quick for a woman in stilettos. She reached the door before me, and swung it open with an excited squeal at the first sight of Oliver. I groaned, hiding my face in my hands.

"He's _cute_!" she "whispered" to me. I groaned more, shaking my head as Oliver chuckled. "Hi handsome, I'm Felicity's mom. You can call me Donna."

"Hi Donna." he shook her hand, "I'm Oliver."

My mom giggled. She _giggled_. I grabbed Oliver's hand and pulled him inside, slamming the door and gently nudging my mother out of the way. "You don't really look ready," Oliver commented, his eyes roaming from my face, to my robe, to my bare feet.

"Oh honey, go finish getting ready. I'll keep Oliver here company."

I threw a glare at my mom, continuing to pull Oliver through the apartment and into my room, "I just have to change. He can sit in here." I said, slamming my bedroom door too. I glanced at Oliver, wearing the same jeans he'd changed into earlier and a plain gray t-shirt that hugged his body in all of the right places. I nodded to myself, stripping off my skirt and pulling on jean shorts. I watched as Oliver awkwardly glanced away. "What?" I teased, "Never seen a girl in her underwear before?"

Oliver continued to study my ceiling. "Uh, no, I was just thinking how strange it is that we've barely known each other for six hours and we've already seen each other without our clothes on."

I smoothed my face, staring at him blankly, "Did you just flirt with me?"

"What?" he asked, his eyes meeting mine, "No. I wasn't-I was just saying-" He let out a breathy laugh, "You're funny."

I shrugged, pulling a sweater over my tank top and slipping flip flops onto my feet. "You're fun to tease." I nudged him as I passed, leading him back out into the kitchen where my mom was pouring a glass of wine. "I'll be back later mom," I said over my shoulder, doing my best to drag Oliver away quickly.

He hesitated, "It was nice to meet you, Donna."

"You too, handsome. Have fun, kids! And take care of my girl!" She yelled as I closed the door.

Oliver looked down at me, his eyes amused. "What?" I asked.

"Your mom really cares about you." He said, heading down the stairs. I wondered if that was a change of pace for him, but decided not to ask about his mother. Instead I let him lead me to his car and open the door for me.

"I should tell you now," I said as I sat down. He stopped with one hand on the roof of the car and other on the passenger door, leaning down to hear me. "I'm not very good at parties." Oliver laughed before closing my door and rounding the car to get in.

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't make friends very easily." I sighed, looking out of my window.

Oliver glanced at me, and then smiled, gesturing between us with his index finger, "I think you make friends just fine."

I pretended not to be affected by his use of 'friends' when it came to us, since I wasn't really sure what it was exactly that he hoped to have with me. I wasn't sure if he was interested in me or not. I couldn't even say for certain if he thought I was pretty. He didn't act like he hated me or anything...but maybe it was only friendship that he was looking for. 

"Special circumstances," I shrugged, trying to play it cool. I barely knew him, I couldn't expect him to get the same butterfly-ish feeling about me that I had about him. "I was actually trying to flee that parking lot today."

He laughed gently, "Well, I'm happy you have an awful car then."

"We can't all have nice ones like this." I said, running my hand along the dashboard. 

"It was partially a gift. My dad gave it to me on my sixteenth birthday, but I worked to pay for some of it."

I laughed, "Wow, and here I thought the kids at SA had never worked a day in their lives."

Oliver shrugged one shoulder, "My dad always said that things were more rewarding if you worked to earn it. I've tried a few different jobs here and there since I was fourteen. I wanted to see what it was that I wanted to do with my life."

"What was the consensus?" I asked.

Oliver bit his lip, seeming a little uncomfortable, "At the thriving age of eighteen I am preparing to start my leadership of Queen Consolidated."

I raised my eyebrows. After all that talk about Thea finding her own way, it seemed a little weird for Oliver to want to follow in his parents' footsteps. He seemed to have more admiration for Thea's free spirit than he did for the profession he was stepping into. "Your dad must be proud." I said.

Oliver glanced between me and the road for a long moment, and I knew I'd said something wrong. "He died," he finally said hesitantly, his voice low. 

"Oh." I hesitated too, "I'm sorry, Oliver-I didn't realize."

"It's okay," He breathed, adjusting his hands on the steering wheel and keeping his eyes focused on the road now. "It was two years ago, he took the boat out and never came back."

"He...I mean, did they find the boat?"

"Yeah, at the bottom of the ocean, fifty miles from here."

"I'm sorry." I said, instinctively touching his forearm. Obviously he was still hurt by his father's death.

Oliver glanced down at my hand and then up to me. "It's okay, Felicity. But thank you." I didn't move my hand or stop looking at him. I wasn't sure what it was about him, but it felt like I'd known him for a very long time, much more than just a few hours at least. And I wanted to know everything about him, about his family, his life; anything he was willing to tell me. _Well, that's a scary thought._ Why was I so interested in knowing him? How did I already care so much? I didn't even know that I was capable of letting new people into my heart, but if every conversation with Oliver was like this, learning more about each other and talking like this, I knew that he was about to nudge his way right in there.

"If you ever need...I know I'm not really the most open person," I struggled for the right words, "But if you ever want to talk about it..."

He nodded slowly, moving his body so that he was facing me, and I realized that he wasn't driving anymore. My hand slid from his arm as I looked out of the window, noticing now that we were in a parking lot next to the beach, right by the party. I could see dozens of people on the beach and the giant bonfire Tommy had said I wouldn't miss.

"Felicity," I turned back to look at Oliver, who was still staring at me. I felt those damn butterflies again. "I just want to say...that I've really liked spending time with you today. And I'd really like to do it more." I bit my lip and his eyes flickered down as he watched, "Just so you know." He murmured, his eyes still on my mouth. Well, if he was going to stare at me like that...I leaned forward a little, trying to give him the green light to kiss me. 

I'd just noticed the party and all of the people five seconds earlier, but the knocking on Oliver's window still had me gasping and jumping out of my seat. I would have seen the guy coming too, if I hadn't been trying to telepathically beg Oliver Queen to kiss me in the front seat of his car...at a party...after six hours since meeting him. _Stupid girl_.

The boys outside made sexual hand gestures and Oliver waved them off, "We should get out there." He said, his eyebrows coming together in...concern?

I just nodded, stepping out of the car and waiting by my door while he tried to brush off the frat boys that had swarmed his entrance with their annoying window tapping. I raised an eyebrow, _okay, so he's popular_. _No surprise there_. I kind of figured that much just by his model-like face and muscles. 

Oliver nudged them, telling them to get lost, before coming up beside me. "Sorry," he said shyly, like he was embarrassed by the whole thing. I shrugged, and he reached for my hand for a moment before thinking differently and shoving it in his pocket.

"What are you worried about?" I asked.

Oliver looked at me for a long moment, "Are you always this direct?" He asked, a small smile pulling one corner of his mouth up.

It was contagious, and adorable. I couldn't help but smile back. "Yes. Sometimes I speak before I think. It's been an issue since first grade." I rolled my eyes and he laughed.

"I just don't want people to start rumors about you." He said slowly, "Showing up here with me, you know..." 

"Ah," I said, the concerned look on his face when his buddies caught our almost kiss made sense now. "You sure you just don't want your classmates to know that you're a giant dweeb for pretending you could fix my car?"

Oliver smirked at me, "Don't you think I'd be walking in here bragging that I spent the afternoon with you if that was the case? You're gorgeous, Felicity. And this school is desperate for drama and gossip; they'd eat it right up if I told them all I spent some time with you. Every guy here would be jealous. I just don't want them talking about you more than they already are; especially not to gossip, I know how they work...I lied about being able to fix your car, but the drama mill turns it into something...not as innocent as it was."

I nodded slowly, trying to understand why he cared that much, but I ended up just replying, "So what?"

"I know it sounds silly," he sighed, "Just wait til you talk to some of these people." He said, heading towards the fire, and I groaned as I followed after him.

For the first half hour of the party, Oliver stayed by my side; showing me to the keg and getting me a drink, and then coming down to the water with me to put our feet in the water. Then we went up to the bonfire and he sat beside me on a log where I listened to him joke with some of the boys from school. It kind of made me wonder what the point of his little speech was, we were getting looks from people anyway, and I could tell they were talking about us. People had seen him helping me after school, and then we show up to the party together...I wouldn't be surprised if his so called drama mill started some crazy rumors just based on that. What really had me worried about my sanity though was that I didn't really care. I kind of _liked_ the idea of people talking, thinking that Oliver Queen liked me. Would it really be a bad thing if people thought there was something going on between us? Would they even be wrong?

The party wasn't even going on for an hour when a very drunk, very annoying boy stumbled over to the log that Oliver and I were sitting on and squished between us. "Cat girl," he slurred. He looked like every other guy at the party, until I actually looked at his face. The guy from English class. "Is your cat all right? Did he get his shots okay?"

Oliver gave me a quizzical look, and I could see the wheels turning in his head, I hadn't mentioned having a cat to him, and he definitely hadn't seen one in my apartment. Because we didn't have one. "Yes," I responded. "Little Fluffy is pulling through."

The boy nodded, relieved. "Good." He said, like he'd actually been worrying about it since I made up the excuse.

I burst into laughter, and Oliver did too. The boy glanced between us. "What's so funny? Fluffy could have been seriously hurt, Oliver. It's not funny."

"You're right, Ben. Definitely not funny." He said, looking over at me, still laughing. 

I bit my lip, drunk Ben was clearly very concerned about my imaginary cat. "I'm going to go grab another drink." I said, standing up. "You want one?" I asked Oliver.

"I do." Ben replied.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I said, taking Oliver's cup and making my way to the kegs. I knew that I would be hating every second of this party if it weren't for Oliver. I knew that drunk Ben, and all of the drunk boys like him, would have pissed me off if Oliver wasn't there. I wasn't sure how I felt about Starling Academy just yet, but Oliver was starting to change my mind about what I expected it to be. I didn't have a problem with that. I welcomed it. If I could get through my last year of high school without any incidents and actually having a little bit of fun, maybe I wouldn't feel so much bottled up anger all of the time; if I could actually open up and talk to Oliver about everything I'd done and been through. But those were some pretty heavy 'if's'.

As I approached the kegs, a tall brunette girl was up on one of them, her hands on either side while two boys held her legs up in the air, and another held the nozzle in her mouth. The others cheered. Apparently she was breaking her record from last weekend's party. _Okay, maybe this would be my only SA party_ , I thought, rolling my eyes as the girl came down from her keg stand. She wiped her mouth and high-fived one of the boys who had been holding her legs. I waited. But the excitement wasn't going down. So I pushed my way through the crowd to the kegs, filling my cup and then Oliver's.

The girl from the keg stand glanced at me, "Is that for Oliver?"

I just gave her a shrug. I'd met my 'meeting new people' limit for the day, and if she was going to come at me with an accusing question rather than an introduction, I saw no point in being pleasant. "Maybe you should've fetched his drink a little quicker." She sneered, her lips curling in a smile.

I stared at her, and she quirked her eyebrow, nodding to the fire. I followed her gaze to Oliver, sitting beside a blonde who seemed very intoxicated. Her hands were all over him. He was gently pushing her hands away, but they seemed to be in a pretty intense conversation. "Oops," Keg girl sang.

I spun around to glare at her, "Who the hell are you?" I asked. My anger wasn't even at this girl. I'd seen pettier, bitchier girls than this, but it wasn't like she didn't deserve it.

"I'm Laurel. Oliver's ex. Or should I say _one_ _of_ Oliver's exes."

I shook my head. _Uh-uh, no way._ I was not about to buy into some lame gossip without hearing who she was to Oliver, from Oliver. I handed the girl my beer, "Seems like you're the jealous one. Maybe _you_ need this more than I do. Enjoy your keg stand and frat boys, Laurel; seems like the attention is what you live for," I spat, unleashing all of my ruthless anger from this school on her. Laurel's mouth dropped slightly as she took the drink. "Have a nice night." I said, turning around but not really sure where I was going. I glanced at Oliver, and met his eyes immediately. He still had a drunk blonde murmuring something in his ear, but my heart raced for a moment because I had his attention. I wondered how long he'd been watching, if he noticed my little riff with his ex. I could tell that my face gave something away, because his eyebrows pushed together and he stared right at me. He shoved the blonde's hands off of him now and stood up, walking towards me.

The next thing I knew, sirens were blasting as six police cars pulled up to the sand and officers with flashlights came towards us. The party-goers were running in all directions. Oliver looked behind him, "Sara, come on!" He shouted. The blonde girl that was groping him seconds before looked up and noticed the police, and her face dropped. She stumbled her way to us and Oliver took my hand, guiding me to the car as the blonde trailed behind us. "There's another exit at the back of the parking lot," Oliver said, pulling out his keys as we rounded the car. "Can you help Sara into the back?"

"She's coming with us?" I asked. Stupidly. Of course she was.

"Her dad is the chief of police. I don't want her getting into any trouble."

"I'm right here, you know." Sara said, looking at me, and then down at Oliver's hand in mine. Her head cocked to the side, "Who is this, Oliver?"

" _This_ ," I responded, feeling my claws coming out for my second cat fight of the evening, "Is Felicity." I opened the back door for her and Sara nodded once as she passed me, getting into the backseat. I glanced back at the beach and saw the officers arresting a few of the kids that were too drunk and slow to run away as fast as the others. Once the doors were closed, we took off. "Where are we taking her?...if her dad can't know she's hammered."

Oliver sighed, clutching the steering wheel and looking at Sara in his rear-view mirror before glancing at me. "My house," he said hesitantly, gauging my reaction.

I kept quiet and nodded.

Sara leaned forward, sticking her head between us, "Ollie, you know that was _all_ her, right?"

Oliver sighed, "We can talk about it later, Sara."

"Nooooo, no, no, no." Sara ranted, clearly pissed about something. "You know she called them."

I glanced between the two of them, but Oliver kept his jaw shut tight. "She who called who?" I asked.

"My sister," Sara said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "The cops. Our _dad_." I was starting to catch on to the fact that whatever was going on was much bigger and deeper than some high school love triangle. Keg girl was drunk girl's sister, and they both had a connection to Oliver...I bit my lip, trying to piece together the unthinkable...Oliver didn't. He couldn't have. _Who_ would do that? When I didn't respond to Sara, she groaned and laid back into the seat.

I threw a look at Oliver, who was watching me out of the corner of his eye. "How do you know Sara and Laurel?" I asked quietly, so that boozy in the back wouldn't hear. I glanced behind me, and Sara's eyes were closed. If there was one think I envied about getting that drunk, it was how quickly people could fall asleep. 

Oliver raised one shoulder, and I could see the tension in his face and body. "It's a small school." He said so softly that I could barely hear him.

I glared. "I mean it." For our first day of knowing each other, we'd done a pretty good job of having open conversation, and I would have guessed that I'd be the one to put walls up and hide things, not him.

He sighed, "I was dating Laurel a year ago." I waited a moment, but it didn't seem like he planned on saying any more.

"Oliver, please..." I whispered, tilting my head until he glanced at me, and I raised an eyebrow.

"I was dating Laurel a year ago...until I cheated on her with her little sister, Sara. Sara was a freshman, and she transferred to a different school a couple of weeks after people found out. I was praised, but Sara...people didn't treat her very well, and nothing I said could stop it." I stayed silent for a moment while I watched him. And then I glanced back at Sara, still passed out. I didn't even know what to say. I turned my head to the windshield and tried to keep my face smooth. Oliver sighed, and I could feel his eyes on me. When I glanced over at him, he tried to smile, but he just looked very...sad. It broke my heart a little bit, and I fought the urge to touch him, to put my hand on his cheek and feel him. Instead I looked away, focusing on the town passing by my window.

I guess I wasn't the only one with some dark secrets.


	2. Second Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity makes a new friend at Starling Academy, but can't seem to keep her mind off of Oliver. Tommy pushes Oliver. Felicity is reminded of a secret from her past and feels a connection to Thea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning that this story will have mild content of rape/non consent. It is not explicit, mostly focusing on healing and moving forward for certain characters, so I did not want to use the archive warning. But it is touched upon and will be present in this story.

I told myself to not let anything get to me. I spent the whole weekend talking myself up, reminding myself of the cold, guarded person that I was, and called Oliver Queen a fluke. A lapse of judgment. Whenever my thoughts drifted to the look in his eyes as he watched me, to the sight of him stripping down in front of me, or the easy smile that felt like it was only for me...I mentally kicked myself and punished myself by picturing those girls from the party.

Laurel and Sara.

They might have been the most screwed up sisters I'd ever met, and I forced myself to focus on that; to think about what Oliver did to them, what he put them through, and ignore the fact that he didn't seem like that to me at all. He didn't raise red flags to me that he was capable of hurting people the way he'd hurt Laurel and Sara, and it took me a lot of time to convince myself that I'd been wrong about him. It had been a fault in my judgment.

I'd seen the signs; his mother, that circle of boys he associated with, and then the night ending with Sara Lance in the back of his car. They'd dropped me off and Sara had climbed into the front seat and waved, smiling sweetly. And I'd bitten my lip and glanced away before hurrying into my apartment, knowing that Oliver was taking her back to his place for the night. He'd been cryptic about it, and I wasn't sure what to think. But I knew that there was something between him and Sara, since spending the night at his house was a common thing.

The last thing I wanted or needed was to get caught up in drama. I'd had enough of that to last me a lifetime. I just wanted to finish my senior year quietly and give my mother some peace of mind. I was a fool to think that I could do that while doing whatever I was doing with Oliver. Letting people into my life only brought drama. I should have known that he wouldn't be any different. 

Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my to-go coffee mug and headed out the door, trying to make myself in a happier mood despite having to leave an hour early to catch a bus since my car was still out of commission. I hesitated when I opened my front door and saw my car, parked right in it's spot on the street.

I huffed, realizing exactly how it must have gotten there. In all of my weekend analyzing, I never realized that I never left the mechanic my phone number, so all he must have had was Oliver's. I stomped my way back into the apartment and grabbed my keys, cursing Oliver for picking up my car and bringing it to my house like some _nice_ guy, when all I really wanted was for him to be a tool. A tool I could let go of. A tool I could brush off. A tool I could _hate_. 

I took the long way to school to kill the hour until the bell rang, stopping for a bagel and more coffee since I angrily gulped down my first cup. I sat in my car, nursing my iced coffee as I watched people come into the parking lot and head into the building, keeping my eyes peeled for him.

He pulled into a parking spot on the other side of the lot, but I noticed him glance right at my car as he got out, heading straight for the door. Was _he_ avoiding _me_? I felt my anger spike my blood. What the hell had I done!? Despite the empty parking spot next to my car that he'd been parked in last week, he chose to park as far from me as he could. And he noticed me but ignored me.

Oh, I was _mad_.

I should have been the one ignoring him, not the other way around. It pissed me off that he was nice to me, but it pissed me off beyond belief that he dodged me.

I stepped out of my car and slammed the door, jogging across the parking lot to catch him before he got into the school, knowing that the main hallway would be more like a stage for onlookers than an actual hallway.

"Hey!" I called as I caught up to him. He glanced over his shoulder, his eyes guarded and impartial as he looked at me. I wasn't sure what I was going to say to him, but seeing the look on his face compared to the soft smiles and intrigue I'd seen before, it worked me up even more, and I diverted to tactics that had gotten me into trouble before. "Give me the sum." I said.

Oliver raised an eyebrow, sticking his hands into his pockets.

I raised my chin, "From the mechanic. Give me the bill."

Oliver raised his hands, "I don't have it."

"Well...fine. Just get it to me tomorrow then."

Oliver bit his lip, shaking his head slightly as he glanced at the door. 

I gritted my teeth, "You paid it, didn't you?"

He sighed, "Yeah, I did."

"Why the hell would you do that?"

"Because I wanted to, Felicity."

"Well don't. I'll go there this afternoon and tell him to give you your money back."

Oliver laughed once, "Do you ever just let people do nice things for you and say 'thank you' instead of fighting it?"

"No." I shot back harshly.

He pursed his lips, nodding once, and I knew that whether I meant to imply it or not, he took that 'no' on multiple levels, to mean more than just my car payment. He turned and went inside, and I let him. Part of me didn't want to, but I bit my tongue. I closed my eyes as the door closed behind him, preparing myself to take a few deep breaths, giving him enough time to get his stuff and go to class before I went in there. 

A low whistle sounded from behind me, and I swung around. 

Tommy leaned against a tree behind me, pushing off it and coming towards me. "You've got fire, Smoak. I see why he likes you so much."

I opened my mouth to respond, and then closed it. _Likes_ me? "Oliver doesn't...he has other girls to take care of right now."

Tommy smiled at me crookedly, "You don't really strike me as a girl who needs any taking care of."

I opened my mouth again. And closed it again. Of all people, leave it to the shy guy that stuttered his way through inviting me to a party to leave me speechless. 

"He likes you." Tommy shrugged, "You should go easier on him." I just stared as Tommy sidled up next to me and pulled on the strap of my backpack. I let it fall from my shoulder, unsure of what he was doing. Tommy gestured to the door as he tossed my bag over his own shoulder, "Well, you going in, Smoak?"

I rolled my eyes, too sick of fighting everyone and everything to argue. Tommy followed me through the door, and my eyes immediately found Oliver's in the crowded hallway. He stared at me for a moment, his eyes flickering to Tommy as he leaned towards me to ask "Lead me to thy locker, my lady." Oliver's eyes narrowed at his friend; his friend who was in a family photo in his living room. I shook my head, pointing down the hallway and heading towards my locker, letting Tommy follow as I felt Oliver's eyes burning into my back.

Tommy was apparently just as popular as Oliver, nodding and patting backs his whole way down the hall, sending a wink to the woman in the front office, Sharon, who had helped me last week. Sharon blushed. I scoffed. "Do all of you golden boys have this effect? How does the school function with 200 golden boys? Isn't there only supposed to be one?"

Tommy chuckled, leaning against the locker next to mine as I took my bag back and got my things. " _I'm_ the golden boy. Oliver's the bad boy. Come on, Smoak. Keep up." He waved a hand at the students in the hallway, "the rest of these little boys are just cheap imitations of us."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "The bad boy, huh?"

Tommy's eyes sparked with intrigue, "Interested in him too, aren't you, Smoak?"

"I don't play well with bad boys." I murmured under my breath.

Tommy leaned forward, his face inches from mine, and my usual instinct would be to kick him in the groin, but for some reason I knew he wasn't going to try anything. Granted, my instincts about Oliver had apparently been very wrong. "If it helps, Oliver is the kind of bad boy who's not really a bad boy....just stupid."

I laughed.

Tommy winked, "I mean it, though. He's a good guy, Felicity. Give him another chance to prove it."

I shut my locker, narrowing my eyes at him, "Did he put you up to this? Or is this your own doing? And do you do all of Oliver's bidding for him?"

Tommy shrugged, unaffected. "Oliver probably wants to murder me right now. And he'd still get into heaven even if he did."

I scoffed, "Cheating on his girlfriend. Toying with sisters. A corrupt family and a mother who's colder than any mother I've ever met. And you think he's some kind of saint? Damn, tack murder onto that list and I think you're insane."

Tommy shook his head, "Get to know him, you'll see it. He has the biggest heart I've ever seen. Just stupid. He's made mistakes, Smoak, but don't write him off until you hear it all from him; the good, the bad, and the ugly. Give him another chance to prove it."

"You really love him, don't you?"

Tommy hesitated, surprised by my attentive question. "Oliver has done more for me than my own family. And since you brought up the ice queen...whatever you picked up on...Moira Queen is ten times worse. She doesn't know how to show her love. So, to have a kid like Oliver, who wears his heart on his sleeve, even like Thea, is a miracle."

"Okay Tommy, I appreciate this insight. But I should really get to class." I said quietly, biting my lip and looking at the floor, my head racing with contradicting thoughts. Why couldn't Oliver Queen just be a typical asshole? Why did he have to be complicated? Why did he have to make me want to know more? I cursed Tommy for taking that away. 

Tommy's laugh brought me back, and my eyes snapped up to his. "Fuck you too, Smoak."

I raised my eyebrows, realizing that my thoughts were apparently not in my head. Tommy threw a casual arm over my shoulder, "Come on, I'll walk you. You know Smoak, I really think we're going to get along."

I caught the glances we were being thrown, but Tommy couldn't seem to care less. And, I guess as much as when it came to Oliver, I didn't care what people thought when it came to Tommy either. If Tommy was right, then my instincts about Oliver were right, and he was worth it...whatever it was. That also meant that the instinct I had about Tommy was true; that he was right. We were going to get along. 

"So Smoak, come to a party tonight."

"On a Monday?"

"Yup. It's at my buddy Cal's place."

I rolled my eyes, something I had a feeling I'd be doing a lot when it came to Tommy. "You were a lot more nervous to invite me to the last party."

Tommy chuckled, "That's because all my friend's were anxiously waiting to see if you were going to bite my head off."

I elbowed his side, "Maybe I should have."

Tommy stopped in front of the door to my classroom, dropping his arm. "I'll see you tonight."

"I don't think so."

"Come on. Oliver won't even be there, Smoak. I'll introduce you to some of the good ones here at SA. It'll be fun. I need a wing-man, anyway."

I laughed, "Alright." Pulling out a pen, I grabbed his hand, jotting down my number on his palm. "Text me the address and let me know when you get there. And _maybe_ I'll meet you."

He winked, to which I rolled my eyes. "So that means I'll see you there, then, Smoak."

* * *

I waited another ten minutes before I even left my apartment after Tommy texted me to "get my ass to Cal's". I wasn't sure if that meant he was leaving, or if he was already there, but I panicked, imagining walking into that party before Tommy, without his exuberant personality that somehow seemed to make people blind to the grumbly blonde next to him. I also panicked wondering if Oliver would be there. Tommy said he wouldn't, but I had a feeling he was lying. And I didn't really care. I sighed as I grabbed my keys and headed out, tapping on my steering wheel the whole drive over.

The street was littered with kids and red solo cups, despite the giant mansion that they all could fit in. A lot of people were leaning against cars, hollering at their friends as they arrived. Others were on the lawn, some of them vertical but a few of them horizontal in the grass, making out like the teenagers that they were and like I had never really felt like. I walked with my keys clutched to my fist, staring at my feet and avoiding eye contact until I got inside, then I scanned for Tommy.

Of course, my nightmare came true and he was nowhere to be found.

But there was a familiar face that caught my attention. My eyes met Oliver's only moments after stepping through the door. He sat on a couch across the room, a red solo cup in his lap while he stared off at a wall, looking bored while a tan brunette sat next to him, talking his ear off.

 _Of course_.

I glanced away, ready to smack Tommy as soon as I found him for lying to me. But also feeling my heart start to race at seeing him.

I forced my way through the crowd, wanting to get out of Oliver's proximity. I wandered into the back yard and took in the lights covering the whole space; a hot tub and a giant pool, with a slide and a waterfall structure. There was a beer pong table set up, where Tommy was found with his hands above his head, yelling, apparently he'd just made the game winning shot. I rolled my eyes as he noticed me, "Smoak! You finally made it!"

He gave his partner a friendly shove before making his way over to me. I held my arms out, "This place is pretty cool."

"You look great." He said. I glance down at my ripped, tight skinny jeans and white, flowing tank top, down to the black booties. I'd tried to go for classy but not too noticeable. "Did you bring your swimsuit?"

I pushed at my glasses, shaking my head as I glanced at the pool, the pool full of drunk people; yelling and jumping around. I scrunched my nose, "No," I glanced back at Tommy, ready to explain why being in a pool with drunk idiots seemed very unappealing, when I noticed the black and blue bruising over his slightly swollen left eye. I instinctively stepped closer, pulling his chin closer to me and touching his temple with my other hand. He flinched. "What the hell happened?"

Tommy rolled his eyes, stepping out of my grip. "You should see the other guy."

I leveled him with a look. "What happened?"

Tommy shrugged, "Guy stuff. Don't worry about it, you'll get used to seeing one of us with a bruised face every other day around here."

"Yeah, usually it's not from Queen, though. Man, he suckered you good, huh Merlyn? What'd you do this time?" I narrowed my eyes at the boy coming up beside me, standing a little too close. I took a casual step away, looking up at him. He smiled, his too-white teeth glinting against his too-tan skin. He had dirty blonde hair pulled back into a pony-tail, and all of my stereotyping flags went up. I tried to push them back down for a moment, knowing that I'd been wrong about a few people here already. Tommy being at the top of that list after the way he'd saved me today, allowing me to have someone to walk beside and eat lunch with. "I'm Cal." He gestured to the mansion, the party, "Hope you're enjoying yourself."

"I am." I flashed him a quick, sarcastic smile, turning back to Tommy. "Oliver did this?"

Tommy held up his hand with my faded phone number on his palm, sighing. "He wasn't too ecstatic about this."

I narrowed my eyes, "He punched _you_ because _I_ gave you my number?"

Tommy shrugged, "Guy stuff."

I rolled my eyes, "Misogynistic ass." I muttered.

Tommy furrowed his brow, "Me or him?"

"Him!"

Tommy sighed, "See ya later, Cal." he said, grabbing my arm and pulling me aside. "Smoak, he likes you. He cares about you. And he doesn't know what to do with it. I think he was as surprised as I was when he punched me. He stared at me like he was shocked he actually did it, even though I could tell he'd been thinking about it all day."

"And that's supposed to make it okay?"

Tommy sighed around a laugh, "Look, I appreciate the concern here, but let it go. I'm his best friend, and he thinks I'm hitting on the girl he's crushing on."

I crossed my arms, trying to shake off the way my heart raced at hearing Tommy say that Oliver had a crush on me. Who even had crushes anymore? Another thought entered my mind, "And you're letting him think that, aren't you, _Merlyn_?"

Tommy gave me a sly smile, "You're quick, Smoak."

"He still shouldn't have punched you. I'm not... _his_...he can't just punch every guy that talks to me."

"That's not it. It's that it was me. What would you do if your best friend swooped in on Oliver?"

"I don't have a best friend."

Tommy cocked his head to the side, "You know, that actually makes things clearer about you."

I slapped his arm. "Go screw yourself, Tommy."

Tommy sighed, "Go talk to Oliver. Make this black eye worth it. Please."

I shook my head slowly. "I can't."

Tommy inhaled and let out a deep breath, closing his eyes and I got the distinct feeling that he felt like he was dealing with a toddler who wouldn't listen. I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Tommy brought his hands together and opened his eyes. "I'm going to count to three, and if your ass is not walking away from me to go find Oliver...I'll have to do something you won't like."

I raised an eyebrow, more curious to see what _that_ would be. "I didn't agree to come here and talk to him, Tommy. You tricked me. Let's talk about that instead."

"Oh, Smoak," Tommy sighed, "You don't know me well enough at all yet." Before I could respond, Tommy stepped forward, grabbing my waist, he hoisted me up and I let out a surprised squeal, catching my breath as he adjusted me over his shoulder. My hair fell over my face as I felt the blood rush to my head and I giggled, gripping Tommy's waist to keep myself from falling off of him. "Excuse us!" Tommy shouted, nudging his way through the crowd. "I have a very stubborn blonde here who needs my help!" I pushed the hair from my face as we passed people. Most of them were smiling at us. Some even waved.

I couldn't help but notice the different reactions people had to seeing me when Tommy was around as it was when Oliver was around.

Tommy continued to make his way into the house, shoving one drunk idiot harshly as he stepped through the door who's focus honed in on my jean-clad ass and raised a hand to touch it. He stumbled into the wall before he could touch me, which he found hilarious. I rolled my eyes and squirmed against Tommy, realizing that he had a plan and he wasn't just acting crazy.

There was a method to his madness. "Put me down." I said, twisting against his grip on my legs.

"Get up." He said, and I tried to wiggle to see who he was talking to, since I could tell that he was standing in front of the couch where Oliver had been the last time I saw him. My heart jumped into my throat, and with my upside down position, it felt a lot like bile.

I made eye contact with the brunette who'd been chatting Oliver up just as she scurried off, throwing confused glances at us. 

"Tommy, please-" Before I could finish, Tommy tossed me onto the couch gently, bending over to deposit me onto the cushions and I narrowed my eyes at him as my hair settled around me. I let out another squeak of surprise, glaring up at him and blowing the hair out of my face.

"See you love birds later." Tommy said nonchalantly, like he hadn't just carried me through a party and very obviously thrown me down next to Oliver Queen.

He stalked off, and I was too surprised to move for a moment. Well, I was surprised, but I could also feel Oliver sitting beside me, so close that his thigh was pressed to mine, and I didn't really want to move anymore. I slowly looked up at him, noting the way my hair had fallen onto his shoulder. Oliver was gripping his cup, but when I lifted my eyes to look at him, he glanced down at me.

"Hi." I whispered, barely audible over the music and drunk happenings, but I caught his mouth twitching, fighting a smile as I looked up at him. 

"Hi." He answered.

"Tommy is pushy." I said, sighing. I thought about sitting up, since I was slouched into the couch, but that would mean pulling away from the contact of his leg touching mine, and I knew I was being silly, but I didn't want to. I leaned a little closer without thinking, letting my arm press to his, and felt him stiffen a little bit.

Oliver forced a laugh, his breath uneven, "Yeah, he is." he said, toying with his cup, like he was _nervous_. 

I bit my lip, wanting him to keep looking at me but knowing he'd stop soon if I didn't find something else to say. "You punched him." I said quietly, stating a fact. I was mad about it, but for some reason all of that anger faded when he was looking at me.

Oliver pursed his lips, "He was being an idiot."

"Oh."

"What?" He asked, tilting his head and leaning a little bit closer.

"He said...never mind." I said, breaking the eye contact I was so desperate for a moment ago.

Oliver nudged me, "I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm supposed to do here." I looked back up at him. "I want to tell you everything, but I don't want to scare you off. And I want to be around you, but I don't want your reputation to be tarnished by mine."

"I don't care about my reputation," I breathed, just wanting him to keep talking, needing him to tell me more. Despite the fact that my reputation was my number one concern, since it needed to stay squeaky clean...In that moment I didn't care. I just wanted to be with him, to feel that energy coursing between us like it had in the confines of his car.

Oliver stood up, like he was reading my mind, and offered me his hand. I took it immediately, nodding as he lead me upstairs. My heart sank for a moment, knowing all too well what going upstairs at parties meant. My hand started to shake in his, and he turned after a moment to give me a confused look, his thumb running over my skin, soothing it. "Are you okay?" He asked, stopping in the middle of the stairs, taking in my shaky breath as I tried to even it.

"Yeah," I tried to sound normal. "Yeah, I'm fine, uh, where are we going?"

"Somewhere quiet...so we can talk...I thought...when I said I wanted to tell you...would you rather do this another time?" He asked, his eyes focused on me.

I shook my head, laughing to myself to ease the tension I felt in my whole body. I squeezed his hand, "No, I want to hear about it." I met his gaze, "From _you_. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that sooner."

Oliver shook his head slightly, his shoulders relaxing, "Tommy is pushy, isn't he?"

"He really cares about you, Oliver. Don't punch him again."

Oliver nodded slowly, "Yeah...I don't plan on it." He walked beside me, his hand wrapped around mine, "I just saw him with you all day, and it was eating at me. I was...I was _jealous_ , to be honest."

Oliver lead me down the hallway, not looking at me as he spoke, trying each door that we passed, but they were locked either by that Cal guy or horny high school kids already occupying them. "It seemed so easy for you to talk to him...and so easy for him to make you smile. And then I noticed the number on his hand and I knew it was yours, and he gave me that cocky smile of his and _winked_ , and I just...I saw red. It crossed my mind that he was screwing with you, just trying to get in your pants, and I punched him before I even realized I intended on doing it."

"Oh," I said, "Well, aside from the fact that he was messing with _both_ of us today," I reached out with my free hand and tried the doorknob in front of me, swinging the door open. I hesitated in the doorway, and Oliver squeezed himself between me and the other side of the frame, looking down at me, "It's easy to be around Tommy because...because he doesn't make me nervous. You..." I raised my eyebrows, looking down at my feet, " _You_ make me nervous."

I felt his finger beneath my chin, and he slowly lifted my face until I met his eyes, not speaking until he could see them, "I don't want to make you nervous." He said softly.

I laughed once, "It's a good nervous, like, I kind of always want to kiss you kind of nervous. Especially when you look at me like _that_." I watched as his lips twitched into a small smile, his finger still on my chin, and I closed my eyes, my jaw dropping slightly at myself. Did I really just say that? Where was the cool, calm, and collected Felicity who used wit to give assholes verbal lashings? With my eyes still closed, I felt Oliver lean forward slowly, and my heart pounded against my chest.

I kept my eyes closed, my hands in fists at my sides to keep myself from completely jumping him.

Oliver pressed his lips to the corner of my mouth, more my cheek than my mouth, but he kept them there for a long moment, and I fought the urge to turn my head and press my lips to his. He pulled away slightly, and I opened my eyes to find a gorgeous view of his jaw, his chest taking a deep breath like he was actually affected by that small, innocent kiss. I knew the feeling though. I could still feel where his lips had touched my skin, and I didn't want that feeling to go away.

He tilted his head down to look at me without stepping any further away, and offered a shy smile. "I kind of always want to kiss you too, Felicity." He said quietly, causing my body to tighten all over. He stepped away, rubbing the hand that he still held before bringing it to his lips and kissing my knuckles. He gestured to the room, "But maybe you should hear what I have to say first."

I nodded, following him into the room and closing the door behind me, locking it so that no drunk stragglers would stumble in on a very important conversation. It was a conversation that I could feel the weight of; it made me nervous, knowing that whatever he had to say... I'd be deciding one way or the other if he was worth it.

Whatever _it_ was. 

He sat down on the bed and I sat next to him, dropping my hand from his and toying with a lock of my hair as I watched him. He took a deep, nervous breath, smoothing his hands over his thighs before starting.

"I met Laurel when we were freshmen. We've been dating on and off ever since, but...we were never really off. Even when we were broken up, we were hooking up. It's been messy from the start because...I just never had any desire to be with _only_ her. I cheated on her, a lot, Felicity. And I hurt her over and over again, and she always let me. She turned a blind eye or threatened the girl to keep quiet about it. She had this vision of us that we were going to be high school sweethearts turned college sweethearts turned married sweethearts with four kids and a white picket fence. She'd been talking about it since we started dating. I never wanted it. And I know that's not an excuse... I did have feelings for her. I loved her in my own, twisted way. But it wasn't good enough, and she always let me get away with it because she thought it was good enough. It _wasn't_. The whole thing just made me feel horrible about myself. She always forgave me, but I don't think I ever really forgave myself. After my dad died, it only got worse. It didn't matter what I said to her, what I did...she clung to her idea of us so completely that I didn't know how to get out. I felt trapped, I couldn't understand why someone like her would try so hard for someone like me, someone who treated her like I did. I knew she deserved better, but I also knew that she didn't _want_ better. And then one night, Sara came to a party. It was her freshman year. I had never really paid any attention to her, but I knew that she'd always had a crush on me. And then...I don't know, I think I saw an unforgivable opportunity, and I didn't see anything beyond that. I gave Laurel a reason to let go. To hate me. And it hurt like hell to see the look on her face when she found out, but I felt...relief, too. I know it was a mistake. I never anticipated that Sara liked me as much as she did, or that Laurel would take it out on her. I thought she would only hate me. And I know that's stupid. I'm not saying that it was logical. It was a mistake, and I would take it back if I could."

He took a deep breath, "It was only that one time, but it changed all of us. And I tried to make it right. I tried to get Laurel to stop hating Sara, to only hate me. But that just pissed her off even more. I tried to help Sara...but I think that what I learned is that you can't be the one to help the people that you hurt. I couldn't fix their relationship because...I was the one that broke it. But, I know that Laurel and Sara are both better off without me. And I've come to accept that. I've tried to lay low ever since it happened, to stay out of it, so that they can both stop being surrounded by all of the drama." He sighed, "I know it's hard to believe, but I do care about both of them, and I'd do anything to make it right."

I hesitated, digesting everything he'd told me. "Is that why you took Sara to your house the other weekend?"

"I know their dad...I just didn't want her to get into trouble."

I bit my lip, "It kind of seems like it's more than that, Oliver."

Oliver hesitated before sighing, "You're right." He looked into my eyes, dropping his hand over mine, "But I promise you, Felicity. I don't have feelings for Sara. I was with her that one night, and nothing has happened since. But you're right, there is more to the story. The rest is just...not my story to tell." I hesitated, imaging that there is a lot more; between Sara and Laurel, their family, everything in between.

But he'd told me his truth.

And I sighed, feeling relieved to have heard it.

The person sitting beside me didn't seem capable of making a choice like that, of hurting people like that, and I knew that he was telling the truth; he'd learned from it. And from what I'd seen of the sisters and of the reactions people had to him, it seemed that he'd paid for what he'd done enough, and didn't need any more hatred from me. I gently turned my hand over and laced my fingers between his. I heard him inhale, and I looked up at his face. "You...you're okay with it?"

I thought for a moment, knowing that I was the last person who was justified in passing judgment on others, especially someone like him, who so clearly regretted his past, even beat himself up over it. "I'm not saying I _love_ it, or anything. Or that I understand it completely. Or that I'm _okay_ with it, really. But I can't ask you to apologize for things that you did before I even met you, Oliver. That's not fair." I said, speaking as much for myself as for him.

He sighed, a breath of relief escaping his lips. "I'm glad you listened."

"Me too," I smiled shyly at him, and he returned it. "You're not a bad person, Oliver. No matter how many people you've heard say it, or how many times you've told yourself. Honestly, as twisted as it is, from what I've seen, and what you just told me...it seems like you were in a pretty rough place long before this mistake, and what you did changed you. You learned from it and you changed. It made you better in a way."

Oliver listened intently, his eyes softening as he looked into mine, his gaze glancing over my face as I spoke. When I finished, he shook his head slightly, "I have a feeling you're going to have the same effect."

I felt the blush rising from my neck to my cheeks, and I laughed nervously, glancing down at my hand in his. His hand was huge where it held my tiny one, and I brought my other hand down to enclose his one between both of mine. "Yeah," I whispered, "I think you are too."

 Oliver hesitated, and I felt his eyes on my face as I played with his fingers between my hands. "Can I give you a ride home?" He asked. I looked up at him, "If you're as sick of this party as I am, I mean."

I smiled, "I drove. And I haven't even had a drink yet. I think I can manage to get myself home."

"Okay, a drink it is then." He stood up, heaving me along with him and pulling me into his arms. "Thank you for listening, Felicity, really."

I closed my eyes, my hands dropping to his waist and absolutely basking in the feeling of his big arms and chest around me. I actually felt a lump in my throat when I thought about all of the moments I wished I'd felt as safe as I did standing there with Oliver. All of the times I wished I could have had arms like his around me, making me feel protected.

He pulled back and looked down at me, his eyebrows coming together, "What is it?" He asked.

I blinked, glancing away and swallowing the lump. "Nothing," I said, smiling. 

Oliver gave me a slight smile, "Story for another time, then."

The words he'd said when I'd evaded his questions about why I came to his school, and again when he'd guessed that I'd been hurt a lot in the past and I'd dodged that conversation too. I realized that he'd poured quite a bit of his heart to me; with his dad, the Lance sisters, and I'd barely shared anything. I felt a bit of panic rising, knowing that it was probably time I let him in a little bit, the reality of it seeming a lot scarier than the idea of letting him get to know me. 

Yet, that story was not the first sharing session I wanted to have. "I just...I feel safe with you." I breathed, admitting it quickly, wanting to give him something besides the sarcastic dodging I'd been offering before. He'd opened up a lot, and even if I wasn't as easy with my past, I wanted him to know all of it.

Oliver's eyes softened, his arms raising silently again, and I stepped into them again, tucking my arms into myself and resting my hands on his stomach, I closed my eyes and rested my head on his chest. "I don't know what you need to feel safe from, Felicity. But I want to be here for you."

I nodded, "I'd like that." I whispered, feeling his arms tighten around me.

* * *

 

After two beers; I was a lightweight, and an unapologetic one at that, I was pretty buzzed. I was buzzed enough to agree to play beer pong with Tommy, who had gotten pretty trashed in Oliver and I's absence. He raised his hands above his head when I finally agreed, "Hell yeah, Smoak!" He hollered, pounding his fist to his chest.

Oliver leaned against a chair to watch as Tommy and I took on Cal and Ben, the kid from the bonfire who asked me again how my cat was. He was just as drunk as the last party, and I glanced at Oliver and winked, not answering. "Okay boys, ready to have your asses kicked?"

Ben cheered, and Cal shoved him, "She's on Tommy's team, you idiot. She was talking to us." Ben quieted, before falling into a fit of giggles. 

I placed my hands on Oliver's knees, leaning over to whisper in his ear, "Watch and learn, Queen. This is going to be easy as pie."

I leaned back and Oliver lifted an eyebrow at me, "Don't get too cocky. Cal is undefeated."

"Hey!" Tommy shouted, "I beat him once! Come on buddy, where's the loyalty?"

Oliver pointed his finger at him, smirking "It'll come back as soon as her phone number washes off your hand."

Tommy and I both rolled our eyes.

I turned to look at Cal, who winked at me. It seemed casual enough, but my radar sent a slight chill over my body as his eyes fell to my ass where I still leaned over Oliver. My head snapped back to him, but he was looking at me, taking a sip of his beer. He squeezed my hand, "Go kick some ass, killer."

I shook my arms, trying to shake off that weird vibe, and glided over to Tommy, clapping my hands over his shoulder and whispering in his ear, "Are you ready to kick some ass?" 

Tommy nodded, focused on the cups. I laughed and squeezed his shoulders, telling him to relax. I was glad that Oliver seemed to relax too, because I really enjoyed Tommy's company, and I wasn't about to hold back on any friendships for a guy, even if it was a guy like Oliver.

Tommy and I beat Cal and Ben, to Oliver's amusement. Ben was too wasted to even know where the cups were, and half his shots went into the pool; which pissed Cal off. And Tommy was decent, but I'd mastered this game. Not missing one shot, it didn't take very long to win. I could hear Oliver's laughter from his viewing seat every time Ben landed a ball anywhere besides a cup, and again whenever I made one and Cal cursed. 

On my last shot, with the last cup, I was feeling a little more than buzzed thanks to the extra beer from the game. But I was also one of those people who got better at beer pong the more alcohol I had. It's not something I was particularly proud of, it kind of made me feel like a frat boy, and it got boring. But that night, with Oliver watching and Tommy egging me on, I was having a blast. I look at Oliver and raised my hand, letting the ball go and listening as Tommy went off the handle, cheering and screaming. "You weren't even looking! Oh my god, you beer pong goddess! Who are you!?" He lifted me off my feet and spun me around once before putting me back down. "I had a hundred bucks on this game, thanks Smoak!"

I shoved him, "You owe me fifty, then! And that's generous," I giggled, "Since I carried this team."

Tommy smiled at me crookedly in a way that was becoming familiar with him, "Fine, you can have half, Smoak." He said.

Oliver came up next to me, shoving his hands in his pockets in a way that was becoming familiar with _him_ , "Nice, Felicity. I definitely didn't expect that from you." He teased.

I wrapped my hands around his forearm, tugging on it until he pulled his hand from his pocket, and then I took his hand and laced my fingers through his. I smiled up at him, "I'm full of surprises." I said, winking at him.

Oliver grinned, a slight laugh passing through his lips as he glanced over my head, "You're drunk."

I giggled, tugging on his hand until he looked back down at me. I glanced between his eyes, biting my lip, "Your eyes are so expressive." I said, meaning for that to be in my head, but the fact that I said it out loud earning me the pleasure of watching them soften as he looked at me. 

"Yeah?" He asked, a smile playing at his lips.

I nodded. "Do you like me?"

Oliver chuckled, squeezing my hand, "Of course I like you."

"That's how you look at me, too. Like you like me."

Oliver laughed again, "I was hoping more than just the way I look at you would have made that clear."

"I know, I just wanted to hear it." I shrugged.

Oliver stepped forward, leaning down to let his lips hover just outside my ear, "I like you, Felicity Smoak." He whispered, only for me to hear, and I actually felt my eyes roll back. Apparently drunk me felt very titillated by Oliver Queen whispering in my ear. On second thought, I probably didn't need to be drunk for his lips on my ear to make me feel like that.

"A lot." He finished when my free hand came up to grip his bicep.

I exhaled, feeling him step back and taking a moment before I opened my eyes. I wasn't sure what he saw when I met his gaze, or if it was just the alcohol, but I swore I actually saw his eyes _darken_. I bit my lip. "Do you want to kiss me, Oliver?" I asked lowly.

He nodded once, his eyebrows pushing together as he glanced down at my lips.

I sighed, picturing him taking a step, closing the distance and pressing his lips against mine. "Then why aren't you?" I asked.

Oliver squeezed my hand reassuringly, "I don't want the first time I kiss you to be in the middle of a party, with all these people around, while you're drunk."

I cocked my head to the side, "You care if they see us kiss?"

Oliver smiled, "Not really. I do care that you're sober enough to remember it, though. Just let me kiss you right, then I won't care who sees after that. I'd have had your back on that table by now...but I need to do this right with you."

My breath caught on his words, wondering what 'kiss you right' meant, and picturing him laying me over the pong table and kissing me.

I bit my lip, and he watched, licking his lips. Oliver cleared his throat, taking a step back, "Do you want me to drive you home now? I can grab your car after and bring it over, then get a ride back to mine with Tommy."

I nodded, now picturing being alone in his car with him. "Okay." I said with a mischievous smile, knowing that his car would provide the privacy he was talking about, as well as a confined space that'd make it easier to touch him.

He smiled back, shaking his head like he was reading my mind. "Let's go see if my sister's around and needs a ride home."

I groaned instinctively, and his eyes darted to mine. And as I tried to glance away, he started laughing. He wrapped his arm around me, kissing my temple and sending shivers right down my spine before whispering in my ear, "I'm not kissing you for the first time in my car, either, Felicity."

I groaned, "I don't care where you kiss me, Oliver."

He shook his head, laughing at me again. "You might be...the cutest thing I've ever seen, Felicity Smoak."

I stopped as we came into the house, and he glanced down at me. "I'm not trying to be cute." I met his eyes evenly, "It doesn't matter to me where it is, Oliver."

He smiled, nodding slightly, "I know. But it matters to me." He leaned forward, speaking lowly so that only I could hear, "Look, you're different. I've been an asshole, especially to girls. I've never really cared about stuff like this, but I want...I want it to be special with you. I want everything to be special with you."

I smiled, how could my heart not be a little melted by that? But then I sighed, knowing that he was going to really stick to this. It wasn't the worst thing, but when I'd had a few beers and all I wanted to do was make out with him, it seemed like the worst thing. "Come on," I grumbled, "Let's see if Thea's around here."

It may have gone faster to look for her separately, but neither of us suggested it. Instead, he lead me through the thinning crowd by the hand, both of our heads swiveling for the tiny, short haired brunette.

Oliver's brow came together as we reached the bottom of the stairs. "What?" I asked, "Maybe she's not here."

Oliver shook his head, pulling me to the stairs and I could see in those expressive eyes that he was worried. "Tommy said he saw her an hour ago."

I followed him, trying to keep up as he jogged up the steps. He let go of my hand, and we both stopped at the top of the stairs. "So maybe she left already." I suggested.

Oliver didn't answer, his eyebrows coming together as he stopped in the hallway of the second floor. I could still hear the music as it pounded through the house, but I could hear something else, too.

I'd only met her once, but I could recognize her voice in the quiet groan coming from down the hallway. My eyes darted to Oliver's, and I knew he heard and recognized her voice too, because his face dropped, his eyes focused on the hall, his body frozen. 

I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, the same one I'd had almost year ago.

My feet took off before my head could catch up, and as I ran down the hall, I could hear Oliver's footsteps following behind me. I stopped at a door where her groans were louder and pounded on it, screaming at whoever was inside to open the goddamn door. My eyes flew to Oliver's again, and I knew that he saw the panic in my eyes, watching as his widened in response. 

I swung the door open, my eyes frantic as I looked around.

Thea was on the bed, her shirt pushed up to her chest, her skirt around her waist. 

My heart dropped to the floor, and I felt the hot, angry tears stinging my eyes. I glanced at the boy in the corner of the room, buttoning his pants.

Cal.

I glared, making my way to Thea. I pulled her shirt down and adjusted her skirt as Cal raised his hands. "Nothing happened. I barely touched her. She wanted me to-" Before he could finish his sentence, Oliver had him pinned to the wall, his feet dangling and small choking noises escaping his throat from where Oliver had him pinned under his forearm.

I caught a glimpse of those expressive eyes of his, the ones that had been so gentle and kind, and I saw murder in them. "Oliver." I warned, my voice loud and harsh.

It caught his attention. His eyes darted to me, wild. "Felicity," the fire in them didn't dull at all even as his gaze was on me, "I know you think I'm a good person, but not that good. Are you really going to stop me from beating the shit out of this kid?"

"Yes. Because if you want any kind of justice, if _Thea_ wants justice, don't give him the sympathy of a bruised face."

Oliver stared at him, his eyes shifting from anger to confusion. "What?"

"Trust me. Come help me with Thea." 

Oliver blinked, and then he wound his arm up and punched Cal in the stomach harder than I'd ever seen anyone get punched. Cal cried out, and Oliver dropped him, leaving him in a heap on the floor. "I'll be back for you." Oliver said, his voice dark with promise. 

He crossed the room, stiff as a board, and effortlessly lifted Thea into his arms. I trailed behind, glancing at Cal as he looked up at me. I hesitated, needing to see if there was any regret in his eyes.

Before I could figure it out, Oliver's foot connected with his jaw. Cal cried out again. "Don't you ever fucking look at her again." Oliver warned.

Once we were downstairs, I tugged on Tommy's t-shirt, telling him to come with me. It only took one look at me for him to know that something was wrong, not to put up a fight. His face became serious, a crease forming between his eyebrows, and he nodded, following me silently around the house, to the front lawn where Oliver was leaning on his car. Tommy walked right to him, glancing inside and seeing Thea lying asleep in the backseat, Oliver's jacket draped over her.

"What happened?" Tommy asked.

Oliver dragged his hands over his face, "I don't know, exactly. Felicity and I went looking for Thea..." he trailed off, his eyes closing, and I could hear her voice just like I knew he could, clicking now that she was moaning in protest, probably trying to fight Cal off in her drunken stupor. "She was passed out on the bed, Tommy...and Cal..."

I watched as Tommy's eyes ignited with the same fierce protectiveness that Oliver's had. For Thea. For the girl that I'd written off as a spoiled, brainless princess. For the first person I'd met at Starling Academy. And for the person that I knew did not deserve this. No one did. I knew then that Thea was special, and worth the ferocity that these two boys had to protect her. It made my heart sink for a selfish moment, wishing I'd had friends like that. "Is he still up there?" Tommy asked, his eyes shifting to me, and then darting back to Oliver.

"Yeah, but I just need you to get everyone out of there. He won't be coming downstairs again. Tell the crowd to go home, make sure everyone is gone, and we'll figure the rest out tomorrow. Don't...don't touch him, Tommy."

"Like hell!" Tommy bellowed, "If he's still breathing, I'm not done with him."

Oliver glanced at me, "Felicity told me that we have to wait, and she's right. Beating the shit out of him will only make _us_ look like we've done something wrong."

Tommy looked at me, "Yeah? You got a degree in criminal justice now, Smoak?" His voice was harsh, betrayed as if I was protecting Cal instead of Thea.

I bit my tongue, feeling tears that were long overdue springing to my eyes. Tears of anger. Of regret.

Of old wounds being ripped open.

I glanced away, going around the car to get in the backseat with Thea. "Just clear those people out, Tommy." I spat, my voice harsher than I'd had to use with him so far. 

He watched me for another moment, his gaze analyzing. I rolled my eyes, masking the sadness with annoyance. I opened the door, getting into the car quietly. I lifted Thea's head, bringing it to my lap and smoothing her hair. I understood why Oliver and Tommy were so protective of her, she was special. I knew that from the first and only conversation I'd had with her, but now my heart ached for her in so many different ways.

Oliver climbed in, settling behind the wheel, and I felt his eyes on me in the rear view mirror. But I just looked down at Thea, focusing on brushing her hair from her face and hoping that it was soothing her in some way. I wiped a tear away quickly when I felt it falling down my cheek, telling myself to not let any more come. "Felicity..." Oliver murmured, his voice soft, as if he understood...

"Just go." I mumbled.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are liking this story! I'm enjoying writing it, slowly revealing our favorite characters' pasts in this universe, and building their connections. Please don't be afraid to shoot me a message on Tumblr if you have any questions or need anything(smoaking-greenarrow)! I love feedback too, so feel free to drop a comment and let me know what you think!


	3. Three Years Ago

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning that this story will have mild content of rape/non consent. It is not explicit, mostly focusing on healing and moving forward for certain characters, so I did not want to use the archive warning. But it is touched upon and will be present in this story.

I spent that night on Thea Queen's floor, curled up to Oliver's side with my head on his chest. He could tell that something was wrong, but Thea had to take priority. And we both seemed to agree on that; at least for as long as it took us to get her out of the car and safely in bed. Oliver had carried her up the stairs and through the giant mansion to her room, and I had trailed behind, carrying her purse and shoes. He'd offered to take me home, and I had asked to stay. When he'd hesitated, part of me wondered if he'd say no, but then he seemed relieved.

Every night for the two weeks after that, Oliver asked me to stay over. And every night, I almost said yes.

I started spending most of my time at the Queen's, but Oliver and I had barely had a moment alone. I'd grown close to Thea, and if Oliver didn't ask me to come over after school, Thea would. She was pressing charges against Cal, and Oliver and I were both willing to testify. Some nights were spent with Queen lawyers and Mrs. Queen, discussing what could be done. Other nights were spent in their kitchen, Thea and I taking orders from Oliver while he cooked and we tried our best to help.

I also began to respect Moira. Like my own mother, she was passionately supportive of her daughter. She didn't care about reputation or bad publicity. She wanted Thea to see Cal get the punishment that he deserved, she wanted her to get justice, and she protected her daughter fiercely.

It made me wish, in selfish moments, that I had gotten the same kind of peace that Thea did.

I could tell that Oliver had questions. My connection to Thea was transparent, and I started to feel protective over her, just like everyone else in her life. But Oliver knew that it was something more, I could see the question on his mind when he watched me with her. I didn't give him the chance to ask though, carefully agreeing to hang out when I knew Thea, Moira, or Tommy would be around. I wasn't sure that I was ready to tell him about it yet. And it made me feel a little guilty. He'd been so open about his past with the Lance sisters, and I wanted to give him the same thing in return.

As I sat in class, I thought about how Oliver was giving me space, letting me talk about it when I was ready. He didn't even try to push it. Yet I still felt anxious.

I'd stopped having panic attacks almost two years ago, but sometimes I still felt that weight, still felt my breath leaving my lungs and my head becoming light. I wasn't sure if Thea's experience was digging up the demons I'd thought I'd buried, or if they'd ever really left in the first place. I just knew that if Oliver knew everything, he wouldn't see me the same way.

I couldn't explain it, but I just wanted him to know me for who I really was before I gave him the power to judge me for my past.

The bell ringing to signify the end of the day pulled me out of my thoughts, and I packed up my bag, tossing it over my shoulder.

I noticed a few dirty looks from the three hockey players in my English class and I rolled my eyes. I did my best not to engage, not after the incident last week when I'd overheard some of them discussing Thea's outfit at the party. They'd been joking that she came to that party looking to get laid and Cal had just been trying to deliver, if only Oliver and I hadn't cock-blocked...half the school had heard me lose my shit, screaming at them until Tommy had to pull me away and drag me outside.

I'd been shaking I was so mad.

I nudged my way through the crowded hallway, thankful that most of the students ignored me. I was way too tired to yell at anyone, but I always felt myself getting defensive as I walked through the halls, just waiting for someone to pick a fight.

And then I saw Oliver, standing across the hall and watching me. I took a deep breath, my shoulders slumping as I took him in. From his casual dark faded jeans and gray t-shirt to the easygoing smile he gave me, the sight of him was every bit as gorgeous as it was comforting.

Because that is what Oliver Queen had somehow become. Comfort.

His eyes softened as I watched him, as if he could tell what I thought of him, how much he made me feel. And then he opened his arms, and I smiled, earning me one of his adorable dimples in return. I crossed the space quickly, not stopping until I crashed against him, immediately wrapping my arms around his waist. I felt him huff as my head landed on his chest, but then his arms came down around me, and I closed my eyes. "Bad day?" he whispered, running his hands along my shoulders.

He laced his hands together behind me, resting them over my backpack. I nodded into his chest. "You?"

"How long would you tease me for if I said it just got a lot better?"

I laughed, "At least until graduation."

Oliver let out a breathy laugh, blowing my hair as he pressed his face against my head. "Are you coming over tonight?"

I pulled back to look up at him and smile, "Yes, I am. It's Friday. Tommy promised romantic comedies and Thea promised pizza. What are you promising me?" I bit my lip, knowing that my flirting with him was the farthest thing from subtle.

Oliver smiled back, raising an eyebrow suggestively. I let out a breathy laugh.

He laughed too, "Maybe movies and pizza could wait."

I frowned, "Why?"

Oliver draped his arm over my shoulder and led me out of school, heading for the parking lot. "How would you feel about coming to my family's beach house with me for the weekend?"

I stopped walking, and Oliver took a moment to stop too. "Just us?"

Oliver bit his lip and nodded. I swallowed, panic rising at the thought of having an entire weekend with him, but it was also an exciting feeling. "I don't know..."  
I said honestly.

He tugged on my backpack, pulling me back against him and leading us towards my car. "No pressure, Felicity. I know that you've been avoiding talking to me about...everything...and I have no plans of pushing you. I promise. It'll be nothing but a weekend full of getting to know each other more, relaxing. We could both use a breather...some time away from the city."

I suddenly had an image in my head, "Romantic fires and wine?"

Oliver glanced down at me, his eyes dancing with mine. "Absolutely."

I bit my lip, fighting a smile even though I knew it was pointless. Oliver returned one of his own.

We were becoming those people. Those people that couldn't stop smiling and giggling whenever we were together. It was ruining both of our intimidating, badass personas.

"Is that a yes?" he asked, a crooked smile plastered on his face.

"I guess that doesn't sound so bad," I said, rolling my eyes dramatically.

"Well, as long as you can withstand the torture of it."

"I think I'll survive."

As we reached my car, Oliver wrapped his arms around me, reaching behind me and opening my door. "Go home and pack a bag," he said gently, "I'll pick you up in a couple hours."

* * *

 

The house was an hour outside of Starling, and only slightly less extravagant than their mansion. It was smaller, more intimate, which I liked. The views were beautiful, a refreshing change from the smoggy city.

Overall, I had no complaints, especially when Oliver gave me the tour of the house and placed both of our bags in the same bedroom.

I wandered around the living room and kitchen area, looking at pictures on the walls as he unpacked some groceries, refusing to let me help. "It's cold in here," he mumbled. "There are blankets in that closet," He said, gesturing to a door in the hallway. "I'll start a fire in a minute."

I retrieved the blankets and came back into the kitchen, glancing at Oliver as he pulled a bottle of wine from a bag and turned toward the cupboards for glasses. I walked into the living room and looked out of the vast windows. They gave a beautiful view of the beach. The summer people had apparently left their lavish beach houses for the season, but the boats in the marina still looked mesmerizing against the sunset, boasting various shades of pinks, yellows and reds.

Wrapping a blanket around myself, I watched the waves as they gently rocked the boats.

Oliver was right, some time away from Starling was just what I needed. I was surprised at how easily I'd agreed to come with him, and how natural it felt to be there. But, I supposed that being near Oliver had felt natural and easy from the moment I met him. He was my friend. Granted, a friend that I wanted to kiss more than any of my other friends, and one that I often found myself daydreaming about, but still...a friend. I'd cared for people in a platonic way and I'd cared for others in a romantic way, but I'd never really cared for one person in both ways. It felt good. Exciting and different.

I heard Oliver's footsteps behind me, and I turned to look at him, accepting the wine glass he held out to me. Oliver reached up, tightening the blanket around me, making sure it was covering my shoulders and chest. "I should get a fire going," he mumbled, his arms circling around me, hugging me from behind. He rested his chin on my shoulder and watched the scenery with me.

I nodded, gripping his arm with my free hand where he held my waist. "I'm pretty warm," I whispered back, twisting in his arms to face him. He kept the blanket tightly around me, as well as his arms. Glancing up at him, I couldn't help but notice that his eyes were the same shade of blue as the ocean I'd just been admiring.

"I'm really happy you're here, Felicity."

I licked my lips, "It seems like a pretty special place. Romantic. I mean...beautiful. It's beautiful here."

Oliver's eyebrows furrowed, and he took the wine glass from my hand, setting it on a table.

He used the blanket to gently pull me a little closer, and he kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes, leaning into him. He moved his mouth from my forehead to my cheek, his hands softly pressing into either side of my face. "Felicity..." He murmured, running his lips to my nose and kissing the tip of it. I pulled back to look up at him, and he sighed, his eyes softening. His fingers twisted into my hair and he took a step closer.

My heart immediately began to race, and I lifted my chin, closing my eyes. I felt his breath on my cheek, and then his lips pressed against the corner of my mouth.

Unable to wait anymore, I turned my head, catching his lips with mine.

He inhaled, seeming a little surprised at my persistence. But then his lips were moving, and I swore I could feel him smiling slightly. I had no time for smiles, because as soon as his lips parted, the blanket and all of the clothes between us seemed like way too many obstacles.

I gripped his jacket between my hands and hauled him closer, lifting onto my toes to reach him better. Oliver let out a soft groan, catching my bottom lip between his. He moved his hands down my shoulders and arms until he reached my waist, and then his lips slowed and he pulled away, just enough to rest his forehead against mine.

I found myself out of breath, and I was relieved that he seemed just as affected. "Wow," I whispered.

Oliver huffed out a laugh, "Yeah,"

"Maybe we should, um, get that fire started."

He lifted his head from mine, meeting my eyes and confirming the connection that I had been feeling all along. He looked just as affected by that kiss as I felt. It was mutual; that respect and friendship with an underlying intensity for each other. I nodded, as if to acknowledge it. "This is going to be a long weekend." He sighed.

I laughed, sounding breathy even to my own ears. Oliver pulled back and took both of my hands in his, leading me to the couch and giving me back my glass. "Make yourself comfortable."

I sat down on the couch and took a sip of wine, not taking my eyes off of him as he began working at the fireplace in front of us. Once he had a flame going, he retrieved his glass of wine and sat down next to me, draping his arm over the back of the couch. I watched him as he watched the fire. He was dressed so casually, I wasn't sure what it was that had me pondering his beauty in that moment. He had on jeans and a t-shirt but he was also drinking out of a fancy wine glass and sitting in front of a fire, deep in his thoughts as he watched the flames.

He seemed so young and free at some moments, and others he appeared to be wiser than the average high school boy. With his big blue eyes and even bigger heart, I realized how much trouble I was in.

I'd closed myself off from ever falling in love again, but Oliver made it so easy that I hadn't even realized I was falling at all.

"This is nice," he sighed, leaning back against the couch and turning his head to look at me. "I like having you here."

I suddenly felt a little nervous, worried that I was falling for him too fast. I cleared my throat, feeling like I needed some kind of contact with him, something grounding. Calming. I lifted my legs and put my feet on the cushion between us, tucking my toes under his thigh. I made sure to keep my eyes on my movements, trying to hide my nerves. "I like being here," I mumbled, meeting his eyes and smiling before I let my eyes wander around the room. "It's a nice place."

"It's been in our family for generations," he told me, "I remember it looking a lot different as a kid. My grandmother was always a big fan of classic charm," he gestured to one of the rustic looking support beams, "My mom wanted to take those out. She's always hated them. But my grandmother made her promise to leave them in." He pointed again, "Every summer she'd mark how much Thea and I were growing."

I smiled at him, "That's sweet."

He nodded, "I've always loved coming here. It's been the place I can clear my head, get away from everything at home and relax ever since I was a kid."

I bit my lip, glancing from him to the fire and realizing why I was feeling so anxious. Oliver was an open book. No, I didn't know everything about him, but he was willing to share. I wasn't. He'd been open and honest with me from the beginning, and I'd been scared and hesitant. I had to change that. "Felicity?" He asked, leaning forward a little bit and putting his hand on my knee.

I sighed, "I feel like I know so much about you, and you don't know anything about me."

He laughed slightly, "I'm trying to."

"I know," I said, nervously tucking my hair behind my ears, "I know, I'm just..not used to sharing."

"Hey..." he said, waiting until I met his eyes. "I told you that I didn't bring you here to pressure you about your past. This doesn't have to be a scary thing...you don't have to tell me all of your deepest secrets for me to like you. I already do. I'll be happy with anything."

I nodded, lifting my shoulders slightly. "I want you to know, Oliver...I just..."

There was a pause between us; one where he waited and I blanked. He offered a small, encouraging smile. "Tell me about your mom."

"My mom?"

"Yeah," he shrugged, "She's...colorful."

I laughed, remembering his first time meeting her.

"That she is." I said. "Well, she was born and raised in Las Vegas. She met my dad in college and they fell hard and fast for each other. Their relationship was always rocky, but it ended when I was seven. He left us." I kept my eyes on my wine glass as I spoke, but I could feel Oliver's eyes on my face, and his thumb traced slow circles on my leg, encouraging me to keep talking. I shrugged, "Me and my mom...we're kind of opposites. She's the optimist to my pessimist. She always sees the good in people, and I always assume the worst. But...she's also my best friend. I was not an easy kid to raise. I'm still not, I guess. But she's never given up on me or stopped having my back. Her solution to my mistakes, and her own breakups, was always to leave. So, we moved around a lot. But we always had each other. That never changed."

"She sounds like a pretty good mom." He said softly.

I nodded, glancing up at him. "Not too bad, as long as you can ignore the peppy personality and inappropriate jokes." Oliver chuckled at that, and I dropped my head to the back of the couch with a sigh, relieved and satisfied that I was starting to crack open the rough armor I'd worn for so many years. With him.

"Did your dad ever come back?" Oliver asked.

I shook my head, taking a sip of wine. "No. He read me a bedtime story, tucked me in, and then I never saw him again."

"I'm sorry," Oliver said.

I shrugged, "We managed. My mom started pulling double and triple shifts, working sixty hours a week. I think she was trying to get me into space camp."

"You went to space camp?" He asked, a hint of a smile on his face.

I laughed, "No. It's still a sore subject for my mom, but I think we missed the deadline, and it was full by the time she tried to get me signed up. So, instead, she put those glow in the dark stars all over our living room." I laughed at the memory, and Oliver seemed amused. "She must have spent all of the money she was saving for the camp on it, because the walls and ceiling were covered in them. And then she turned a box into a rocket ship, and made telescopes out of paper towel rolls."

"Wow," Oliver was grinning.

"I think that day was actually better than space camp would have been."

"Your mom must have loved making you that happy." He said.

My eyebrows pulled together, "I'm not sure I ever told her."

Oliver shrugged, "I'm sure she knows."

He asked some more questions about my childhood and growing up in Nevada. He asked about my first crush, my favorite teachers, and my most embarrassing moment. We traded stories and I laughed until my sides hurt, especially when Oliver told a story about how he'd written a love note to his grade school crush that had somehow ended up getting delivered to one of his teachers, and his parents had been called in for a meeting about his inappropriate behavior.

Three glasses of wine later, with the fire just embers, I sighed. It was past two in the morning, and my eyelids ached for sleep. I glanced at Oliver, and he reached over to brush my hair back from my face. "Are you tired?" He mumbled.

I shook my head, but was outed by a yawn. Oliver laughed. My legs were draped over his lap, and he patted them gently. I finished the last of my wine, enjoying the perfectly comfortable feeling of talking to him all night before going upstairs and falling into the same bed.

I smiled, moving to rest my head on his shoulder. I put my hand on his chest, sliding it up and down over his shirt. He took a deep, tired breath, and I felt my eyes growing heavy as I listened to his breathing. We sat like that for a long time, and I tried to focus on the flickering embers in the fireplace. Aside from the glowing embers, the room was dark and it became very hard to keep my eyes open. Oliver's breaths were deep and slow, and I would have thought that he was asleep if i weren't for his fingers running over me, gliding across my arms, back and shoulders, dragging through my hair. "Bed?" I murmured, breaking the silence.

Oliver kissed the top of my head. "Yes, ma'am."

When I was suddenly lifted into the air, I had a moment of panic, feeling like I was falling. But then Oliver was heading towards the stairs, and I settled into his arms. "I have legs." I said, rolling my eyes but unable to fight the tired giggling that escaped me.

He looked down at me and raised an eyebrow, and then his eyes trailed down to my legs. "Yes," he said, as if that were obvious. "They're nice ones."

I giggled some more. "I meant that I can walk myself."

"Ah, now where's the fun in that?"

I didn't argue, enjoying my moment of being carried like a princess. Oliver put me down on the bed and put my bag next to me. He left me to go change in the bathroom, and I reached into my bag, feeling for the soft material of my favorite panda pajama pants and pulling them out. I changed quickly, kicking myself for not thinking to bring something a little sexier.

Oliver came back in and frowned. I laughed, "What? Not a fan of pandas?"

He went to the dresser and pulled out a sweatshirt, tossing it to me. "No, I'm not a fan of you freezing to death sleeping in a tank top."

"Are you sleeping in here...with me?" I asked, pulling the sweatshirt over my head.

"If you want me to," he said, hesitating by the door.

"You've only been asking to share a bed with me for two weeks now. Who am I to deny you of that privilege?"

He laughed, "We did share a floor."

"Right. Which is how I know that sleeping next to you is like sharing a bed with a furnace. Hence the tank top."

Oliver shrugged out of the t-shirt he'd just put on and tossed it on the floor. "I can sleep in a different room," he said, pointing to the door.

I cocked my head to the side, narrowing my eyes at his adorably sly suggestion, only offering to sleep elsewhere after he was standing in front of me shirtless. How was a girl supposed to turn that down? I crawled under the covers, "Get in here."

Oliver chuckled, climbing in next to me.

We laid side by side for a long moment, and I couldn't hear anything besides the waves. It was a radical change from the car horns, TVs, and occasional screaming matches by my neighbors that I was used to. I laid on my back, staring up at the ceiling. And out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Oliver was doing the same.

"Three years ago, I got invited to a party." I started, my voice soft, filling the peaceful quiet. Oliver hesitated, slowly turning his head to look at me. I glanced between his eyes, finding the comfort in them that I was really starting to become addicted to. There wasn't any judgement in his eyes, just interest. In me. In what I wanted to tell him. "I had just gotten out of a relationship, one that I had no business being in. This guy in my class asked me to go. He was a senior and I was a sophomore. He put something in my drink."

Oliver froze, his hands tightening over his stomach. His eyes darted between mine, an unreadable emotion in them. I took a deep breath. "I woke up the next morning alone in the backyard...and I couldn't find my underwear."

Oliver's eyes darkened slightly, and he stayed completely still. I explained how I'd gotten my own revenge on Cooper Seldon. How I'd hacked into his files right before he graduated and tampered with his college applications. He accused me of it, but he wouldn't tell anyone why he though it was me. As far as anyone knew, I had no motivation to destroy his future. We'd never even spoken before the night of the party. It took him an extra year to get into a good university. And I'd enjoyed hearing that he'd spent that year working as a custodian for the high school.

I told Oliver what I'd done to Cooper without a hint of remorse.

"Felicity," He shook his head, "He deserved all of that and more. I'm sorry that happened to you."

I told him about how I'd felt when I woke up in the grass and every day after that. I admitted thoughts to him that I hadn't shared with anyone, emotions that I denied feeling even to myself. The deepest anger and scariest sadness I'd ever experienced. How I didn't want to be there anymore, so my mom and I moved. But the problem was that I didn't want to be anywhere, really. I told him how I still felt anxious, how frustrated I was because I thought I'd moved on. And we talked about Thea, about the night I told my mom what had happened to me, how I'd been to four different schools since and what that was like. I hadn't had consistency in my life for a long time, but laying next to Oliver felt like something that I could get used to doing.

As I quieted, he reached over to wipe the tears away from my face, catching them with his thumbs. I turned my hand over and laced my fingers through his. "It's okay." I sighed, "Well, it's not. But I am." He just nodded, keeping his eyes on mine. I laughed once without any real humor. "I wish I knew you back then."

Oliver's eyes softened at the thought, "me too," he said, lifting my hand to his mouth and kissing the palm. He used my hand to pull me closer, wrapping his arms around me and holding me against his chest.

Oliver Queen was tearing down every wall that I had so carefully built. He was making me want things again. I cared about him, and about his sister, his best friend... even his mother. People that I hoped cared about me just as much as I did them. I realized how I'd spent three years pushing people away, making sure no one got close enough to hurt me. And then I met Oliver and suddenly I found myself surrounded by people that I felt connected to, and I was so tired of pushing.

Just an hour ago, before I'd poured my heart out to Oliver, that might have scared me. But part of me started to wonder if maybe I wasn't as damaged as I'd labeled myself to be. If Oliver could hear about my childhood and one of the most traumatic pieces of baggage I carried, and still be lying next to me, looking at me the way that he was, then maybe I wasn't so broken. For the first time, I felt old wounds beginning to heal.

I examined his face, looking for any sign of unease or fear, after everything I'd told him. We hadn't known each other that long, and I'd just dropped a lot on him. I wouldn't have blamed him if he didn't want to deal with me, on top of everything his family was going through. But as I looked at him, all I saw was appreciation in his eyes, something protective and passionate behind his gaze. God, he was gorgeous. "Thank you." I whispered.

Oliver let out a deep breath, closing his eyes. I tucked my head under his chin and curled up against his chest. He kept both arms wrapped firmly around me, his lips on my hair. "You don't ever have to thank me." He whispered back.

I closed my eyes, pressing my forehead against his chest. As the quiet came over the room again, I could hear the steady beat of his heart right outside of my ear, and the calming sound of the waves from the window on the other side of me. It was an amazing way to fall asleep.

* * *

 

When I opened my eyes the next morning, Oliver was wrapped around me. Like, really wrapped around me. Both of his arms caged me in, and his legs were tangled in mine. We faced each other, my face was buried in his chest, just the way we'd fallen asleep.

I realized that I was waking up because of the heat radiating off of him, suffocating me. I pulled my head away from his chest. "Oliver?" I mumbled, trying to disentangle myself from him. "Oliver." His arms tightened around me, but I got my legs free. "Oliver."

He groaned. "Stop squirming around, Felicity. I'm trying to sleep."

I nudged him, laughing "I need air." His arms loosened and he opened his eyes to glance down at me. I raised an eyebrow. Letting out a soft chuckle, he released me. I sat up and ripped off the sweatshirt he'd given me and threw it away like it had offended me. Then I threw him a look over my shoulder, "Remind me not to wear so many clothes next time I sleep with you."

Oliver raised an eyebrow, a mischievous smile forming. "No objections here," he mumbled, his voice low and thick with sleep.

I bit my lip. Who looked that sexy in the morning? How was that fair? I rolled my eyes, pretending like the tiny pillow lines on his face and the sleepy look in his eyes wasn't doing strange things to my heart. And my body. "Coffee?" I said instead, standing up from the bed and stretching my arms above my head.

Lounging back into the pillows, Oliver yawned. "It's barely 8:00. We've only been asleep for four hours."

"When I'm up, I'm up." I shrugged, pulling my hair into a ponytail.

Oliver smiled, rolling onto his stomach, "Okay, but don't make fun of me if I pass out on the couch at 7:00pm tonight like an old man."

I smiled back, throwing him his t-shirt. "Oh, I will."

Once we were both showered and dressed, Oliver grabbed the car keys. "Get ready for the best cup of coffee you've ever tasted."

I shook my head, "One thing you must know about me: I am addicted to coffee. And I don't play favorites. Hot, iced, cream, sugar, any flavor, I love it all."

He laughed, "Noted."

I followed him out the door, taking in a deep breath of the crisp air. He drove just a few minutes down the street, where he showed me his favorite coffee shop. I had to give him credit, the coffee was amazing. But in terms of best thing I'd ever tasted, that wasn't until he ordered us cinnamon rolls. They were the size of my head and worth every sugary bite.

Then he showed me around the town, which mostly consisted a cute little shops and pretty views. We walked up and down nearly every street and watched some of the ships and sailboats coming in and out of the harbor. Oliver spent most of the tour explaining the town's history to me and sharing memories about Thea, his grandparents, parents, and Tommy at different spots. After getting ice cream, we walked down the beach until we reached a gorgeous lighthouse, and explored the rocks around it. By the end of the day, I was exhausted.

He pointed out one of his favorite restaurants, asking if I wanted to go for dinner. Seeing that it was a seafood place prided on their fresh lobster, I admitted that I had never tried it. Oliver told me that he'd taken Tommy to eat there when they were kids, and he'd never had lobster, either. Apparently Tommy was allergic, and although the story didn't instill very much confidence, I agreed.

Unsurprisingly, it was the best date I'd ever been on.

I knew, sitting across from him while he tried to teach me how to successfully crack open a lobster's shell, that Oliver Queen was the kind of guy you loved for your whole life.

After dinner, we went back to the beach house and Oliver put on a movie while I showered, needing it after spraying lobster juice and butter all over myself in a rookie attempt, before I begged Oliver to do it for me. By the time I got out, Oliver was sprawled out on the bed and fighting to keep his eyes open. I smiled, quickly braiding my hair down my back and climbing into bed beside him. He slid closer to me, draping an arm across my waist and nestling his head on my chest. I reached up to run my fingers through his hair like I'd thought about doing for weeks.

He hummed, "You smell a lot better." I laughed, and his arm tightened around me. "Cutest laugh," he mumbled, "yet so sexy." I bit my lip, grinning. He was falling asleep fast, and I reached behind me to turn the lamp on my nightstand off before letting my fingers gently explore his hair again. My eyelids felt so heavy, and he was right, four hours of sleep the night before was not enough. Especially paired with an exhausting day. I closed my eyes, wondering what it would be like when we got back to Starling, back to the real world. I hoped that nothing would really change, and I knew that either way, I knew him better than I had before, and I'd let him know me. My feelings for him were deeper, and I was surprised that it brought me comfort instead of scaring me.

I drifted off thinking about him, and when I opened my eyes the next morning, Oliver was wrapped around me. Like, really wrapped around me. Again.

I groaned, my whole body feeling hot. I shoved him away and he laughed, letting me free. "Maybe less clothes?" he asked groggily.

I picked up my pillow and hit him with it. "Maybe stop ending up on top of me." I teased.

Oliver gave me a look, not even going to merit that one with a comeback. "I like to cuddle." He shrugged.

I chuckled, "You're a giant, and your skin is like six hundred degrees."

Oliver gave me a crooked smile, "I've already offered my solution."

I tried to glare, but I just ended up laughing at the freshly awake, goofy yet excited expression on his face. I threw another pillow at his face. "When do we have to be back in Starling?"

He tossed the pillow off the bed, "Whenever you need."

I sighed, falling back onto the bed beside him. "I told Thea I'd study with her tonight for our Stats test this week."

He grinned, "So we have all day."

I giggled, leaning over to him and kissing his cheek once, then twice. "Yes," I mumbled against his face. "All day." I smiled, kissing his cheek again, and then his temple, forehead, and nose. I brought my lips to his, hesitating an inch away for a brief moment before kissing him. As my lips played with his, I wondered how we'd gone all weekend without doing more of it.

Finally bringing ourselves to get out of bed was tough.

After a couple of hours of kissing and exploring each other a little, we headed downstairs for breakfast. I glanced down at Oliver's back as he walked in front of me, my attention caught by a protruding pink scar, Reaching my hand out, I ran a finger over it, on his lower back and close to his spine. He glanced at me over his shoulder, and I raised an eyebrow. He shrugged, "I was ten, Tommy dared me to ride down this dirt path we found while we were out on a bike ride. We didn't know the locals here had dubbed it "Dead Man's Hill". But I learned why."

I shook my head at him, "Is there anything Tommy has told you to do that hasn't gotten you hurt?"

Oliver pulled out pancake mix and blueberries while I started making coffee. He glanced up at me, "He told me to pull my head out of my ass and ask you out. That hasn't resulted in any broken bones yet."

I bit my lip, hoping that it wouldn't end in any broken hearts, either. I offered him a smile, lifting up onto my toes to kiss him.

After two cups of coffee and too many pancakes, Oliver decided to go for a run and I grabbed a book and headed for the beach.

It wasn't quite beach weather, but I put on Oliver's heavy jacket and brought blankets and a thermos of tea. Enjoying a peaceful morning on the windy beach was the cherry on top of a perfect weekend.

Oliver joined me an hour later, freshly showered and dressed in jeans and the sweatshirt that he'd given me the other night to sleep in. He carried an extra blanket with him, smiling at me as he approached. My heart did a little flip at the view. He sat down next to me, draping the blanket over our legs. "Good run?" I asked, closing the book I'd found in the house.

He nodded, leaning forward to kiss me. Since we didn't have to be back until dinner time, we spent the afternoon on the beach. We talked more, the atmosphere feeling comfortable between us, swapping stories about our families and realizing that they were similarly crazy. We only left our little bubble on the beach to go back to the house and make sandwiches. When we came back down, the sun was setting. I sat between his legs, watching it as his nose and lips grazed my hair.

Eventually, he sighed. "We should get going soon." I groaned, and he chuckled, hugging me tighter. "Think you'd want to come back here sometime?"

I nodded, "Absolutely."

We took our time leaving the beach and packing up, once we finally headed back to the house.

Oliver made sure everything was in the car, and then he locked up while I fidgeted with the radio, settling in for the drive back to Starling. I knew that I'd be in my own bed that night, and despite my complaints and displeasure at the furnace that was Oliver Queen, it made me sad that I wouldn't be sleeping next to him.

Oliver climbed into the car and the first thing he did was take my hand. I smiled at him as he pulled out of the driveway, and he lifted my hand to his mouth. "Are you glad you said yes to coming?"

"I am," I said slowly, watching his lips kiss each one of my fingers. I wondered where he'd learned to be so sweet, since it didn't seem like his father was the most faithful man and his past with the Lance sisters was far from romantic. I bit my lip as I watched him, driving with one hand on the wheel, his eyes focused on the road but his thumb drawing circles on mine. Even when I first met him, there was just something that I instinctively trusted. It wasn't like me at all, but the feeling only got stronger every day that I knew him.

I fell asleep at some point, and when I woke up again, we were just outside of Starling.

Oliver was squeezing my hand as the car jolted. I shot up, and Oliver braced his arm over me.

I heard tires squealing, and then I slammed back into my seat, my seat belt and Oliver's arm pinning me back. My eyes frantically searched in front of us, but Oliver had pulled off onto the shoulder of the highway. I turned to look at him, wide eyed and confused. "Stay here." He said, his eyes focused on mine. I could see the tension behind them.

"What?" I asked, trying to work through my grogginess and figure out what was happening. Then I noticed the smoke rising from the window behind his head, "Oh my god," I said, unbuckling.

"Stay here, Felicity." He said again, his hand cupping my face. "Promise me."

I just nodded, "Okay. I promise."

Assured, Oliver opened the door and hopped out of the car, running straight for the smoke, where I could now see the scene of an awful accident. A car was upside down in one of the lanes, and a truck was off the road, down in the ditch a few yards away. There was glass everywhere, covering the pavement on the opposite side of the highway surrounding the crash.

And there was Oliver, running straight for it.

I choked on something in my throat, my breath catching. Scrambling into the driver's seat, I rolled the window down to get a better look at him. I could smell the smoke, and the burning rubber. I could hear a handful of different people talking to emergency dispatchers on their phones. But their voices were muffled by someone's screaming.

Through the darkness, I could just make out a woman in the driver's side of the upside down car, crying and asking for help.

Then Oliver came into view, dropping to his stomach and sliding towards the woman. He reached the window and began speaking to her. She relaxed for a brief moment as she looked at him.

The sound of sirens reached my ears, but they still didn't drown out the sounds of her wailing. "My husband! He's dead! He's dead! He's dead!"

The ambulance screamed onto the scene, and Oliver shouted to them, pointing to the woman. The two EMT's began cutting the woman's seat belt to free her, and Oliver rushed to the other side of the car. A minute later, he was dragging a man from the wreck by his shoulders.

Suddenly, the reality of what was happening hit me like a ton of bricks and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt tears springing to my eyes, feeling like I was in a nightmare.

That man was dead. I knew it.

The screaming, bleeding woman who loved him was now alone. She was hysterical and disoriented as one of the men carried her to the ambulance. My heart ached for her while my body panicked and my head flooded with fear. As I listened to her agonized cries, I choked back a sob.

I couldn't quite process it, but the sight of Oliver running towards the wreck instilled a deep fear inside of me. Seeing him pulling the man's body away from the car, lifeless, reminded me of why I was so afraid of loving someone. Why I never wanted it; something that you can lose, something that can break you.

Somewhere along the way, I had become afraid. Of everything, not just getting hurt. I pushed people away because of that fear. Listening to the woman's cries made my chest ache.

I couldn't get control of my mind, and the air that I could manage to inhale tasted like smoke and burning rubber. As I watched Oliver, trying desperately to revive the man, I swore I could smell burning flesh. My heart felt like it was trying to escape through my throat and launch itself onto the pavement below me.

Before I knew what I was doing, I swung the door open and fell from the car onto my hands and knees. As I hit the ground, I was almost positive that I wasn't in control of my body anymore. My head felt miles away from it. I was staring down at my hands, shaking as they gripped the pavement, but they didn't feel like my own. Part of me recognized the experience as a panic attack, but it was by far the worst one I had ever had.

That feeling of my heart trying to escape my body became more intense.

Somehow I crawled to the grass on the side of the highway and puked, my body writhing.

When I finished, I raised a shaking hand to wipe my mouth, but I could barely see because of the tears clouding my eyes. I could feel them on my face too, but I wasn't sure if my eyes were watering from vomiting or if I'd started crying before that.

My arms felt weak and my hands were shaking, but I slowly dragged myself back to Oliver's car and collapsed onto my knees. Looking at Oliver again, I smoothed my hands over my pants, trying to get the trembling coursing through my whole body to stop as I struggled for air.

Oliver's head suddenly snapped up, looking to his car. Seeing it empty with the door wide open, I saw his face drop, his eyes widening. He looked panicked as his eyes darted around the crowd, looking for me.

Then he noticed me on the ground, and he started running towards me.

He didn't slow down until he was skidding to a stop in front of me. He bent down, taking my face between his hands and looking at me. Oliver brushed my hair over my shoulders and then he easily scooped me up, lifting me into his arms. He carried me back to the car and set me down in the driver's seat, checking me over again. He looked at the scrapes on my hands and knees from my tumble out of the car, brushing off the dirt.

I couldn't form any thoughts, feeling like my head was in a fog. Oliver took my hands in his, kissing them quickly and then bringing them above my head. "Beathe," he mumbled, keeping his hands over mine as they rested on my head. I kept my eyes on his as I tried to get control of my breathing. My vision was clouded with tears and he was blurry, and his calming voice sounded far away as he reminded me to take deep, slow breaths. As I settled, I started to feel like I was coming back into myself, blowing out a big breath of air and closing my eyes. Oliver guided my face to his neck and buried his face in my hair. "You're okay," he whispered, holding the back of my head in his hand, keeping me safely tucked against his body. "You're okay," he let out a deep breath of his own, talking to himself as much as he was talking to me. "God, you scared me."

"I'm sorry," I croaked, my voice hoarse, my throat raw. I didn't move, not wanting to look back at the car accident. The sirens of the ambulance were fading, carrying the woman to the hospital, but I could hear the other officers talking to each other, their radios crackling as they made plans for the dead body. I shuddered, and Oliver hugged me a little tighter.

He held me so tightly, so protectively. As if he wouldn't let anything bad happen to me. But I knew that decisions like that were out of his control. Sometimes the universe took things away, like that woman's husband. I didn't ever want to feel like that, and the more I fell for Oliver... the more I knew that losing him, in any sense, would destroy me. I'd been broken enough already, I wasn't sure how much more I could take.


	4. Loose Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity and Oliver get back on track just in time for graduation. An uninvited guest shows up at Tommy’s lake house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning that this story will have mild content of rape/non consent. It is not explicit, mostly focusing on healing and moving forward for certain characters, so I did not want to use the archive warning. But it is touched upon and will be present in this story.

Four weeks.

I only had to survive four more weeks at Starling Academy.

I wanted to leave Starling and forget about Oliver and everything he'd made me feel. I was trading one city for another, but I knew that once I was gone, I would never let myself come so close to falling in love again.

I had been so close.

He almost had me.

If it weren't for that day and the car accident, I would still be blissfully falling. I spent a few weeks trying to eternal sunshine my mind from remembering the way that Oliver looked at me, how soft his voice could sound, how capable he was at making me feel things that scared me.

I sucked at forgetting, and my mind always drifted to him. I was a glutton for torture, apparently, because let myself want him. I let myself miss him. But I didn't do a damn thing about it.

The car accident was also very persistent in my mind; remembering the scene, the body, and the sound of the woman's sobbing. All I could think about was that people were always going to leave. One way or another, they left. And it hurt like hell. The woman's cries rang in my ears constantly, making sure I didn't forget that.

It was the wake-up call that I didn't want, but it reminded me that the school year would end and I would probably never see Oliver again anyway. What was I doing? What had I been thinking? He made me not care, he made me want things that I wasn't prepared to want. Thoughts about futures, plans, and letting people melt my frozen, guarded heard swirled my in my head.

Oliver was not on board with my plan of cutting our ties before they got too tangled together. I'd breached the subject almost two months ago and he hated me for it. Well, he  _did_ hate me. Then he just seemed to forget that I existed at all. When I told him that I wanted to quit while we were ahead, he didn't seem very surprised by it, making me wonder if he'd been expecting it all along.

I ran through our last conversation again, as I did every day, just before he'd resorted to ignoring my existence.

_"You're scared, Felicity, I get it."_

_"You're right. I am. I'm terrified. I'm terrified of losing someone that important to me, Oliver. You caught me. But it doesn't change the fact that... I can't do_ this _."_

_"You're so scared of losing me that you push me away? How does that make sense? You know, someday you're going to realize that being afraid is not as bad as being alone.The irony is that if you keep pushing, Felicity, you won't have anyone left to lose."_

His words rolled through my mind constantly. Every day. I'd pushed him away, but the twisted, pathetic side of me had hoped that he'd fight to stay. I knew that I couldn't blame him for not fighting but I still selfishly wished he would have tried. 

I didn't expect the silent treatment that followed after that.

I didn't expect the hatred.

Since the day I'd met him, I had never known him to be the person that I watched now. I imagine that this was the Oliver Queen who tore two sisters apart and earned a bad boy reputation. And I did not like him.

Oliver barely acknowledged me. He seemed like a different person, but as someone who was pretty familiar with faking it, I knew that it was an act. His flirting with other girls and fake smiles didn't deter me. I knew that the boy who had pretended he could fix my car just to talk to me was the real Oliver. The way he'd been at the beach house...that was real.

Getting to know Oliver had made me feel like my heart was starting to open up, like I was becoming myself again. Like he was taking the scared, sad, shell of a person that I had become and was slowly chipping away at my armor. And he was right about irony. I hated not being with him. Before I came to Starling Academy, empty and unemotional were my friends. Now I hated feeling that way.

Was I really better off being miserable without him? 

I knew the answer, but it was far too late to beg for another chance, now wasn't it? I'd screwed that up. Oliver didn't even bother to look at me anymore, and it was well deserved.

As I shut my locker, I was startled by Thea standing beside me. "Hi," I sighed, offering a smile.

"How does an 80's movie and sushi sound to you?"

I gave her a look, "Thea Queen, you know the way to my heart."

A wide smile spread across her face. "Come over around 8:00?" I bit my lip, and her eyes softened. "Oliver won't be home."

"Oh," I said, feeling my heart sinking. "Is he going out with Tommy...or something?"

She shrugged nonchalantly, "Nah, I think he has a date with Susan Williams." My heart was definitely in my stomach. "Don't be late or I might eat your sushi. No promises." She said casually, not noticing that I had to grind my teeth together to keep from puking on her shoes. Then she kissed my cheek and headed out of the school, practically skipping.

I waited until Thea was gone before risking a glance at Oliver.

Susan Williams was at his locker, twirling her hair and biting her lip while he put his books in his bag. He didn't look  _extremely_  interested in her, but that might have just been my wishful thinking. Oliver headed for the doors, opening it for her as they left. I couldn't stop staring. His eyes found mine just before he followed Susan into the parking lot, and he glanced away just as quickly.

"Ouch."

I swung around to glare at Tommy, already knowing the familiar voice that chided me. I'd gotten used to it lately; Tommy chastising me and letting me know what an idiot I was to let Oliver go. It was a constant occurrence now. "Bite me, Tommy." I muttered, slamming my locker door and going to my car.

* * *

 After three shared California rolls, Thea and I curled up on the couch to watch the movie. She laid on one end while I laid on the other, draping my legs over hers. I had to admit, it felt strange without Oliver on the floor in front of me, my hand mindlessly playing with his hair while Thea forced us to watch whatever movie her whim had chosen that night. It felt strange to not have Tommy's weight over our legs, perched in his position and eating too much pizza until he felt sick. 

Thea glanced over at me, the look on her face telling me that she was thinking the same thing. I smiled softly and she sighed. 

I tried to focus on the movie, but the absence of the boys on a Friday night made me feel sad and distracted. I kept wondering what stupid comment Tommy would be making or picturing which parts would have made Oliver turn around to look at me and roll his eyes. Thea and I were friends and we'd hung out plenty of times by ourselves, but I just felt like we were missing something. Like it was wrong of us to do our Friday night routine without them.

About half way through The Breakfast Club, Tommy came blustering into the room with two pizza boxes in his hands. Thea's smile matched my own as our eyes met. He tossed the pizzas onto the table in front of us and huffed, falling back onto the couch, getting comfortable on top of our legs. I giggled as he settled in, putting his hands behind his head. I wiggled my feet, finding the right spot so that he wasn't crushing me. Thea did the same. "Breakfast Club. Nice. You ladies hungry?" were his first words. 

Thea and I both groaned, already starving again. Tommy chuckled and opened up a box. We all dug in, and I grinned at Thea. It was still nothing compared to Oliver sitting in front of me, but it made my heart feel a little lighter to have Thea and Tommy with me again. "Careful, Smoak. You look happier than I've seen you in weeks." Tommy sang, "Wouldn't want us to think that you've missed this, would you?"

I rolled my eyes, taking a bite of pizza. "I'd be punching you if I didn't have precious pizza in my hands, Thomas."

Tommy frowned, "I still have a bruise from your last one, don't even think about it."

I offered him an innocent grin before biting into my pizza. He deserved a bruise after the stunt he pulled last week, even if I hadn't actually  _meant_  to punch him in the gut so hard.

Tommy had been standing with me at my locker, impatiently waiting to go get coffee after school as promised. And Oliver was doing an incredible job at not noticing either of us. Apparently Tommy fell under my cloak of invisibility whenever he was around me. And he played by our rules, never making it awkward. If he was hanging out with me, we didn't talk to or about Oliver. I assumed the same went for them. Not that I was brave enough to ask Tommy. But that day, something must have possessed him, because without any warning, he'd called to Oliver, waving across the hall and asking if he felt like getting coffee. As I panicked, my fist had found his stomach. And when Tommy keeled over, Oliver politely declined before closing his locker and walking away. "I'm sorry I hit you," I'd hissed, "but what the  _hell_!?"

Thea picked a pineapple off her slice and threw it at him, both of us breaking into a fit of giggles when it bounced off his face and landed on his shirt, where he picked it up and ate it with a shrug.

I hadn't laughed like that in months. The smiling actually hurt my face it had been so long. I shook my head at them, grateful that they didn't hate me like Oliver did. But it still felt incomplete without him. Knowing that his absence was my fault hurt worse than the fact that he wasn't there.

As if my thoughts had conjured him up, Oliver's voice carried down the hallway as we heard him coming from the kitchen.

My eyes flew to Thea, and I knew I looked like a deer in the headlights. She'd said he wouldn't be home tonight. He had a date.

If he walked in with Susan, I might start launching pizza at the wall.

My eyes widened as panic spread across Thea and Tommy's faces. Thea took a moment to untangle herself from beneath Tommy's ass and my legs, and then she grabbed one of the pizzas, pointing to the door. "I'll just see if he wants some pizza and send him upstairs."

Before Thea could hop the three stairs out of the living room, Oliver appeared in the doorway, looking surprised to see us.

Sara Lance was by his side.

Okay, not Susan Williams. But that didn't make me feel any better. In fact, it made me feel worse.

Tommy's eyes darted to me, and I squared my jaw.

Oliver glanced between the three of us, looking a little hurt and making me feel twenty shades of sad. We were doing  _our_  thing; the four of us, pizzas, movies, and Friday nights. We just did it without inviting him. In  _his_  house.  _His_  sister.  _His_  best friend.

To be fair, Tommy hadn't actually been invited, but I'm sure it felt like a betrayal to Oliver. As if we planned it, knowing that he wouldn't be home in order to avoid him. I suddenly felt very guilty, like I had no right to spend time with the people that I only knew and loved because I'd met him.

"Felicity," Oliver whispered, his eyes softening as if he wasn't prepared to hate me in that moment. "Hi."

I raised my eyebrows, tucking my feet beneath Tommy's ass but pulling my legs to my chest. "He speaks. At me." I muttered.

"Oh- _kay_ ," Thea sang, "Oliver, welcome home. I think we could use a few drinks. Mind giving me a hand, Sara?"

Sara stared at all of us in confusion, nodding slowly, "Uh, sure. I guess."

"I'll help, too." Tommy said, trying to get up. My hand flew out to grip his thigh, my nails digging in.

"Don't you  _dare_ ," I hissed under my breath.

Tommy groaned, "If I'd known you were going to give me so many bruises, Smoak... I never would have befriended you."

Oliver shifted uncomfortably as Thea and Sara scurried off to the kitchen to get some much needed tension killers. I just hoped they made them strong, because I had no idea how the rest of this evening was going to play out. I went from feeling relaxed and appreciative of my friends to wanting to bite Tommy's head off and then run out of the Queen mansion screaming. "Hey, uh, Oliver?" Tommy asked after a few moments of silence.

Oliver glanced down from his inspection of the ceiling.

"Would you mind grabbing my dress shoes from the closet? Your mom said she put them in there for me. That's uh- that's why I stopped by. I left them here at the last fundraiser." He said, rolling his eyes.

Oliver gave him an odd look, "Go get them yourself."

Tommy gestured to my hand that I hadn't noticed was still digging into his thigh. "I would, but your girl is trying to amputate my leg with just her fingernails."

Oliver raised an eyebrow, "She's not my girl."

"Whatever you say. Shoes? Please? My dad needs to borrow them and I was supposed to get them yesterday but I forgot. You know how he is when he's pissed."

Oliver let out a long sigh. "Fine," he rubbed the back of his neck, walking off down the hall. I was about to smack Tommy and beg him to get me out of here, but he jumped up from the couch.

Before I knew what he was doing, he picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Smoak. Screw the plan." He said as he carried me.

I asked what the hell he was doing, reminded of the last time he'd done this. At the party when he'd thrown me down next to Oliver, forcing us to talk. "Plan?" I asked, "What plan?" It wasn't too hard to realize what he was doing. "Thomas Merlyn, you put me down right now!" I hissed, wiggling.

Tommy's hand held my waist steady, keeping my from falling off his shoulder, while his other arm wrapped around my legs to stop my feet from connecting with his face.

I kept trying to kick him anyway, but I was too late.

The next thing I knew, he shoved Oliver into the closet and threw me on top of him. "What the hell!?" Oliver yelled as the door slammed in our faces.

I scrambled off of him and knelt in front of the door, wiggling the doorknob. I heard Tommy lock it. "Open this door, Thomas! Now! I swear to god I will  _end_  you!"

Thea's voice came from the other side, "What the hell are you doing?" She hissed. "You locked them in the closet?"

"Thea!" I shrieked, "Let us out!"

"We weren't expecting you, Lance. Kinda ruins things, don't you think?" Tommy's voice sounded from the other side of the door.

"Um...what?" Sara asked.

I pounded on the door, shoving on it as I glanced back at Oliver. He just looked up at me, confused. 

"You know that with Sara here," Tommy explained, "it changes things. They wouldn't solve shit."

Thea laughed once, "And you couldn't think of anything better than locking them in a closet?"

"What would you suggest? Smoak would just be defensive, jealous, and feisty all night." My mouth dropped open, feeling a hot flush rising to my cheeks. "And Oliver would go all silent brooding with that annoying little frown on his face."

I realized that they'd planned this; Thea inviting me over, Tommy stopping by...it was a trap. They probably even knew when Oliver would be getting home, making sure that he'd find us in the living room, watching a movie as if nothing had changed. And maybe they thought he would join us, and then they could force us to talk.

"You know we can hear you, right!?" I screamed, refusing to look at Oliver now as I slammed my palm against the door. 

Tommy sighed, "Talk to him, Smoak! Not to me!"

Oliver finally sat up, "This is ridiculous, Tommy. Open the door." He said calmly. Apparently being trapped in a closet wasn't as alarming to him as it was to me.

"Not until you two get your shit together and grow the hell up, buddy." Tommy said back cheerfully.

Oliver sighed, falling back into the closet, resting his back against the far wall. The closet was neat, but held a lot of coats and shoes. It was impossible to be in there and not notice every tiny movement he made. But he was conscious of the space and careful not to have any part of him touching any part of me. "That's it?" I asked, raising my eyebrows as Oliver gave up on getting out of there.

He shrugged, "I've known Tommy most of my life. I know he's not letting us leave until we...do what he said."

I stared at him, but he was still persistent in avoiding me. Even when he didn't have the usual option of running away from me. "Damn straight." Tommy said through the door.

I heard his footsteps walking away, followed by Sara and Thea's. "Just work it out," Thea said softly against the door before she left.

Sitting back on my heels, I looked at Oliver again. He had his eyes on his feet. I suddenly realized that I was stuck in a closet with the person that hated me, and the person that I was almost sure I loved despite my best attempts at convincing myself I didn't.

I aimed back at the door, pounding my fist on it again, "I swear to god, Merlyn!" I yelled, my voice rising in panic. "I'm going to kill you when I get out of here!" I was afraid of what Oliver would say. I didn't want to hear about how spending time with me was a mistake to him and he couldn't believe he thought he'd seen something good in me. I didn't want to hear how much better his life was without having to deal with a scared, insecure little brat like me. But most of all, I didn't want him to admit that he didn't like me anymore. He'd been ignoring me, and that was safe enough because at least he wasn't telling me that those feelings were gone. I could still pretend.

"Wow," Oliver whistled, "you'd rather break your knuckles on that door than talk to me? That's salt to a wound."

I glanced back at him, surprised. "I was never trying to hurt you."

Oliver tipped his head back, letting it thump against the wall behind him. His legs were pulled up to his chest, his arms resting on his knees. "In your twisted mind, do you really mean that?"

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I wasn't sure how long I could act tough before I started crying, but if he kept that up, it would probably be less than a minute. When I opened my eyes again, Oliver was watching me. "It's not really  _talking_  if you're just going to insult me."

Oliver hesitated, watching me for a long moment, and then he nodded. He leaned forward, which didn't take much, and his face was inches from mine. Oliver's eyes darted between mine like he was looking for something. "Okay. What do we need to talk about, Felicity? What do you want to say?"

I held my breath. "So, you and Sara huh?"

He laughed once, his eyes narrowing, "Really? That's where you want to start?"

If he wasn't trapped in this two inch closet with me, he wouldn't even be looking at me. Just like he hadn't been looking at me for two months. This was the most attention I'd gotten from him since I broke things off, and I'd be lying if I said that part of me didn't like it. He'd barely made an effort to get out of this closet, and I chose to believe that maybe he wanted to be in there with me. Maybe he wanted to talk.

Besides, I was pretty sure that he could bust the door down if he really wanted to.

"I'm sorry I wasn't ready." I whispered, knowing that I owed him an explanation for how I'd acted more than he owed me one for coming home with Sara Lance. He stared at me, his eyes unchanging, waiting for more. "I'm sorry that I couldn't be the kind of girl that you deserve."

There was a long pause between us, and then, "What do I deserve, Felicity?" He was whispering too, his eyes cautious. I could hear the mild annoyance in his tone. He seemed like he was trying to be patient.

I sighed, "You deserve to be with someone who can give you everything. Someone that can open her heart up to you just like you opened up yours for me. Not a girl that's so afraid of her own shadow, she can't give her heart to anyone."

His eyes softened slightly. He looked at me like I'd never been looked at before, as if he saw me, understood me, and wanted to know more. "Okay, and what if I don't give a shit about what I deserve?"

I lifted a shoulder, "I'll care enough about it for both of us. And I know I'm not it. I think you know it, too."

His eyes dropped to my lips, and I could almost taste him in the closeness. "I don't know that, Felicity. You're the most amazing girl I've ever met. And it truly kills me that you don't get it." He paused, "You're wrong to think that I deserve better than you. I probably deserve a lot worse. But I don't care. What about what we  _want_?" He whispered, his voice low and...I'd never heard him speak with desire like that.

It made my eyelids flutter shut, made me lean into him without the control to stop it. Oliver's hand came up to touch my face, and I felt like every cell in my body was ready to explode. He hadn't touched me in way too long. And I didn't know if I'd caught him on a bad night, or if he'd been pretending to hate me more than he really did, but I didn't care. I didn't care about the cold silence he'd given me or about Sara or Susan or any other girls he'd flirted with.

All I cared about was his hand in my hair.

And then he pressed his forehead to mine, and I cared about that, too.

I was breathing heavier already, so I didn't see the harm in reaching out to rest my hands on the back of his neck. "Felicity..." he breathed.

"Oliver," I sighed, his name feeling so good on my lips, like I'd been itching to say it. I'd denied myself that luxury for a while now. But now I was touching him, and he was touching me. I shook my head slowly, "I've missed you. I was scared...and  _stupid_."

He laughed gently, his fingers tucking my hair behind my ears. "You're not stupid," he said quietly. "I understood that you were anxious. I understood why. I knew that you would be quick to run, especially after that accident. I hated seeing you like that...how much it was affecting you. I shouldn't have let you push me away."

I bit my lip, "I didn't give you very much of a choice."

He shrugged, "You still didn't deserve to be ignored."

I hesitated, pulling back slightly, "You didn't do anything wrong, Oliver. I needed time...space. I know that sounds lame, but I did. I freaked out a little bit, thinking about how much it would kill me to lose you. I wasn't ready to care about someone as much as I cared about you, and it caught me off guard." I released a breath, "I  _still_  care about you."

"Are you ready now, Felicity?" he asked quietly. I swallowed, nodding. "You won't run away again?" I shook my head. "Okay," he said softly, his eyes burning into mine. "I'm going to kiss you, now." I nodded.

Oliver pressed his lips to mine, and I couldn't control what my body did. Climbing into his lap and wrapping my arms around him, I opened my mouth, inviting him in with a groan.

After ten minutes, the door swung open and we both groaned, our eyes adjusting to the light. Tommy stood above us, a proud grin on his face. "I noticed that you stopped talking. Figured I'd either find this, or that Smoak had murdered you. Who wants pizza?"

* * *

 I'd never truly appreciated the term  _beautiful man_. I'd seen cute guys; nerds with a sense of humor that make them all the more charming. And I'd seen sexy guys; bad boys who can make your thoughts turn impure in public. There were plenty of words in between 'cute' and 'sexy' that had popped into my head when looking at attractive men. 

But Oliver Queen was something else.

His eyes were the worst of it, but even as I watched him sleeping, unable to see the expressive, deep blue pull of them, he was beautiful. 

I found it impossible not to reach over and touch him, to run my fingers across his cheek. His cheek that was covered in the most delicious five o'clock shadow ever since I'd offhandedly mentioned that I liked it on him. I shook my head, thinking about the way he'd nodded slowly as if he was searing the tiny compliment to his memory. And then he hadn't bothered to shave again.

His hair was messy, sticking out in different directions. And his lips were twitching in his sleep, tugging at a smile, all of his features relaxed. His chest was bare, rising and falling slowly with his peaceful breaths.

Damn. He was beautiful.

I leaned forward, feeling the need to have my lips on him, my fingers not doing the trick anymore. I started at his chin, feeling the scratchiness of his stubble as I kissed along his jaw. Scooting closer, I draped my arm over him, running my palm against his back and hearing him sigh. Then I kissed my way over his nose and across his forehead, finally settling on his hair and inhaling. His hair smelled like the simple shampoo he used, nothing special or even that different than any other guy, but I  _loved_  it. I closed my eyes, feeling completely euphoric when his arm wound around my waist, pulling me closer and nestling his head into my chest.

He inhaled deeply, waking up as I moved my hand up to his hair, scratching my fingers through it as I continued to breathe him in. "Sorry," I mumbled, cringing that I seemed to be incapable of just letting the damn guy sleep.

"Mm-mm," he mumbled groggily. His hand slid into my tank top, his warm fingers pressing into my skin. Then he turned his head, kissing my chest once before dropping his head lower, his face settling between my breasts as he kissed each one. 

"Good morning," I said, a giant smile on my face. 

He glanced up at me and smirked, "It's about to be."

Gently pulling the straps of my top over my shoulders, Oliver continued exploring with his lips. I closed my eyes, feeling the hot trail his mouth was leaving as he nipped at the tops of my breasts. Then his hands skimmed along the waistband of my shorts, and he looked up at me again, waiting for approval. I nodded adamantly, and he pushed his hands inside, resting his fingers on the skin over my hips and smiling up at me.

Damn. He was beautiful.

Keeping his hands where they were, he made his way back up my body. He stopped to nibble at my neck, making me giggle. Then he pressed his lips against mine. "Happy graduation day." He whispered against my mouth.

I sighed, opening my mouth for him and reaching down to put my hands over his, urging him to get those pesky shorts off of me...

Suddenly the door swung open, "Ollie, did you-"

"Damn it, Thea!" Oliver jolted, pulling one of his hands out of my shorts to adjust the comforter, covering me.

Thea threw her hands in the air, "Oh god!" She screamed. Then both of her hands flew to her face, covering her eyes. "Oh my god, my eyes! My  _eyes_! No!" She screeched, "I've survived sixteen years without this happening! Why god, why Felicity!? Why now!?"

I couldn't help but laugh at how dramatic she was. Admittedly, she was lucky. If she had come in five minutes later, she probably  _would_  have been scarred for life. 

But clothes were still in place. Blankets were still covering. No one's eyes needed to be surgically removed. Oliver glanced down at me, surprised. "This isn't funny," he said, rolling off of me and moving to lean against his headboard, looking almost as distraught as Thea. I imagined that having your sister walk in on you when you were about to get laid was a bit of a mood killer.

My eyes glanced down at his sweatpants. Yup. Mood killer.

I shrugged. Thea kept one hand over her eyes, using the other to find the door frame, retreating out of the room, "Okay, well, I was going to ask if you called Felicity about our plans for after graduation."

"No need." I offered. Thea's mouth turned down, disgusted. "Thea," I said, rolling my eyes and sitting up. "We're fine. You can open your eyes." I settled in against the headboard beside Oliver, sticking to my side of the bed and adjusting the straps of my tank top. Thea's fingers parted, and she peeked at us between them. I held my arms out. "See?"

She let out a breath, and I chuckled. So dramatic.

"You feel like coming to Tommy's?" I asked. 

There were numerous other graduation parties for our class tonight, and most people would be hopping around between them, but Oliver, Tommy and I had decided to stick to Tommy's lake house. I wanted to be with Thea too, who was understandably not interested in parties lately. She'd grown up going to the Merlyn lake house though, so we knew that she'd be comfortable there, especially with all three of us staying put.

"Yeah," she said with a shrug. "Can't wait." She glanced at Oliver's clock, "Mom says that you guys should probably get going, you're gonna be late."

Oliver nodded, "Uh huh,"

Thea winced, "Right. You were-ew. I forgot. Okay, bye!"

And then the door was slamming behind her.

He glanced at me, and then at the clock. "You have to run home and change, huh?" He said with a sigh.

I grinned, leaning over him to press my lips against his. "Nope." I mumbled, rubbing my nose against his. "Brought my dress over last night." He groaned as I kissed him again, and I smiled. "It's hung up in your bathroom."

Oliver's hands cupped my face, "That means-"

"Plenty of time," I finished, biting his bottom lip.

He grabbed me, pulling my waist down the bed so that I was horizontal and beneath him again, and I yelped. Quickly covering my mouth, I closed my eyes and laughed. Thea's poor ears didn't need to be traumatized, too. 

Despite my effort to save time by bringing my dress to Oliver's the night before, we were still late.

Everyone was in their designated seating as Oliver and I rushed in and found our spots. I glanced back at the bleachers behind me, knowing that there was only one familiar face that I needed to see.

I found my mom easily in the large crowd, thanks to the giant pink sign she was holding that said "Felicity Smoak is my baby!" in glittering letters.

She waved her arms enthusiastically when I saw her, pointing down at the sign.

I knew that I was changing because even a month ago, I would have been annoyed. I never really cared what people thought about my mom, but I had a badass persona to protect and Donna Smoak was an energetic, happy ball of light to my dark and moody storm cloud.

I offered her a wide smile, waving back and giving her a thumbs up. I just didn't care. She deserved to be proud of me. I deserved to be proud of me. After the hell we'd been through, I was finally graduating. She didn't have to worry about me getting kicked out of school for bad behavior, and I didn't have to threaten expulsion whenever my temper flared and I harassed a hockey player.

I was going to MIT. I had one more summer before I'd be moving to a city that I'd never stepped foot in. And I could be any damn person that I pleased. I was  _mostly_  excited for it, and before I met Oliver Queen, I would have been  _completely_  excited to get the hell out of there.

But the thing I had been so afraid of provided a slight knot in my stomach whenever I thought about how this was also the end of something. Something good. Because I'd put down roots. I'd gotten attached to three people in this city, and I didn't want to leave any of them behind. I didn't want to miss girls nights with Thea. I didn't want to miss teasing Tommy. And I definitely didn't want to wake up without Oliver. 

By the time I made it through the ceremony and an hour-long photo shoot that my mother made me, Oliver, and Tommy endure, I was ready to take my heels off. It seemed like Oliver was just as unwilling to be away from me as I was with him. I'd planned on going home with my mom, showering and getting ready for the party and then meeting him at Tommy's, but he asked if he could come over and hang out with me while I got ready.

Unfortunately for him, he didn't know that that meant sitting in my room for two hours while I did my hair and make-up and then raided my closet, throwing every stitch of clothing I owned around my room until I found a dress that I deemed sufficient 'party at lake house' attire. He remained patient, only looking slightly aggravated once, when a shirt that I'd thrown accidentally wound up in his face.

"Ready," I sang with a sheepish smile, spinning around in front of the mirror to make sure I was all set. Oliver let out a breath of relief, coming up behind me and towering over me again now that I'd traded my high heels for a pair of flats. He bent down to kiss my cheek as he stood behind me.

"Finally," he grumbled, sliding his lips to my ear and pulling it into his mouth. 

"Choking hazard." I blurted. He stopped, glancing at me in the mirror, puzzled. I chuckled, "Earrings."

Oliver rolled his eyes, turning me around so that I was facing him. "We graduated." He said. I nodded, smiling up at him, not caring when he kissed me if I'd have to fix my make-up. "We're not in high school anymore." I hummed, feeling his hands roaming down from my waist, touching my thighs. "Just a few more months left..."

I pulled back to look up at him, "Oliver," I said hesitantly.

He shrugged, trying to play it cool, and I saw right through him. "What?" he whispered, his eyes glancing between mine as he smiled. He was feeling as anxious about my leaving as I was. He and Tommy were staying local though, and my mom planned on keeping our apartment, so I knew it wouldn't be  _impossible._ I'd see him. I knew that.

Of course we still had to talk about it. We hadn't exactly had that conversation yet. Would we do long distance? I knew that we were exclusive now, but would he want change that? To see other people when we were in college? There'd be plenty of new fish in his sea, that was for sure, after four years in a tiny private school he was bound to meet plenty of new people. Maybe we'd make some kind of friends with benefits arrangement, for when I came home on holidays. That made me a little sad. 

I knew that we cared about each other. I also knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't want to stop talking. I sighed, shaking my head. "I'm with you," I mumbled, "I am. We'll talk about...what we want when fall comes along. But right now, we still have all summer." I shrugged, "Let's just have fun tonight. Celebrate."

He nodded, "Okay." Then he kissed me chastely, moving his hands from my thighs and I instinctively frowned, missing their warmth. "Let's go celebrate."

Tommy's lake house wasn't too far from town. And as charming as I thought "lake house" sounded, I shouldn't have been surprised that it wasn't any different than Tommy's house in Starling. It was massive, with stereos set up throughout the house, plenty of outdoor lighting and seating, and a kitchen stock-full of booze. It looked like a party house. Tommy was putting beers in the fridge when we came in, but there were also rows of hard alcohol, at least thirty bottles lining the shelves. 

I raised my eyebrows at Tommy, reaching into the brown shopping bag he had on the counter and pulling out the cups. He chuckled, draping his arm over my shoulders, waving at the alcohol stash with his hand. "This is called 'keep it out of my house, Tommy. Here, have a lake house for this shit.'"

I snorted. This was clearly the house that Malcolm Merlyn sent his son to when he wanted to party. It was a good thing we had a herd of excitable teenagers coming over. I cringed, staring at the massive amount of booze. Or not.

"I guess we better make good use of it, then." I said, glancing at Oliver as I poured chips into a bowl. 

He quirked and eyebrow at me, and I winked. I had no problem making good use of this place...it seemed like it had a lot of bedrooms.

Tommy groaned, letting go of me and moving to throw the shopping bags away. "I mean, thanks for reminding me to lock the doors upstairs, but-" He groaned again, "Hey, if you guys set one goal for tonight, let it be this," he paused to look Oliver in the eyes, and then me. "Get Tommy laid."

I snorted, "Huh, I thought golden boys didn't need any help getting laid."

He raised his hands in the air, "I don't know what my problem is, Smoak! It's been months! I think my game is broken. Maybe it's your fault, actually. You're badass enough to keep the girls away from Oliver, maybe that force field sucked me in, too."

I rolled my eyes now, "It's not  _my_  fault. And your game is not broken. Maybe you've just been trying the same moves on the same girls, and it's gotten old."

"See?" He said, pointing at me, "This is why I need you." Tossing a chip into my mouth, I waved him off. "No, seriously Smoak, I don't know what I'm going to do without you. Oliver, what are we going to do without her?"

"I've heard I'm pretty good at brooding." Oliver replied.

I smiled when Tommy nodded seriously, "I could brood."

"Stop it!" I argued, "No brooding." I wrapped my arms around Oliver's waist, squeezing him. "And no talking about this tonight. Oliver already agreed. Get on board with it and have a drink, Thomas. Maybe I'll even find you a girl with some standards."

"Oh," Tommy said, making a face, "those ones don't usually like me."

"None of them like you." Oliver clapped back. I laughed, and Tommy smacked Oliver's head as he walked by.

Thea arrived with a few of her friends a few minutes later, and it was easy enough to enjoy myself with them. I was glad that she had made some new friends in the past few months, dropping the stoners she'd been wasting her time with and actually finding people that cared about her.

I particularly liked one boy she'd brought along, and I stayed out on the back porch with her friends just so that I could watch them tease each other.

I was squirming in my seat, waiting for a moment alone with her by the time he got up.

As he left us to get another drink, I smacked her arm. "Ow." She said, glaring at me.

"What the hell!?" I hissed, "Did you forget to tell me that you've been flirting with a male model lately?"

As Thea glanced up at the doorway he'd left from, her friend Sin leaned towards me. "Her and Abercrombie?" She smirked at Thea, "I've tried to tell her."

Thea still looked confused, "Roy?" She asked, "No...he's been...nice. Probably the nicest guy I've ever met."

I cocked my head to the side, "Nice and he looks like that? What's the problem?"

She stared at me for a moment as if I should know. "Nice guys aren't exactly my type." She muttered, taking a sip of her drink.

I wasn't sure why, but it pissed me off more than it should have. She deserved a nice guy. I hated that she didn't see that. I hated that she thought she wasn't good enough for a nice guy. "Thea," I said sternly, "I love you, but I will slap you if you don't go for that boy."

"I don't know, Felicity..." She said, biting her lip. "He doesn't even seem that interested in me."

Sin started laughing, "Oh, he's interested. We talk every day about whether or not he should ask you out."

Thea's eyes widened, "What?" She stuttered, "I-then why hasn't he?"

Sin gave her a look, "He thinks  _you're_  too good for  _him_. Ironic, isn't it?"

I rolled my eyes, looping my arm through Sin's. "I like you, Sin. Why don't we go harass Tommy into playing that new Arctic Penguins song you were telling me about and let the lovebirds talk." I winked at Thea, giving her a thumbs up.

Sin groaned, "It's Arctic  _Monkeys_ ," she told me.

I laughed, feeling like an uncool grandma. "Okay," I said as we entered the house, "It better be as good as you say it is or else-"

I froze when I saw Cooper.

His eyes were already on me as soon as I came inside, a knowing smirk on his face as he watched me, his eyes challenging and entertained. I knew that my expression was full of wide-eyed panic and white lips. "Are you okay?" Sin asked, glancing from me to Cooper.

Oliver caught my attention when he put his hand on Cooper's shoulder, laughing as he handed him a beer.

Losing my temper had gotten me into trouble before.

And I lost it. My body felt numb as my mind filled with long-locked rage that I hadn't known was so close to coming out. 

I thought I'd buried this demon better than that.

But one look at Cooper and it was busting out of its chains, barreling straight towards him. I completely forgot that I had a drink in my hand, but the next thing I knew I was throwing it at his face, cup and all. Oliver was so buddy-buddy next to him that he got splashed, too.

Oliver's eyes widened, and I glanced away from him, away from his stained t-shirt.

My palm found Cooper's face, the slap echoing in the room. And I held my breath, wondering if I was about to get the same violence in return. But Cooper just smiled, rubbing his cheek like he expected just as much and wasn't surprised. "Hey, you." He sneered.

I slapped him again.

And then Oliver was dragging me away, picking me up and carrying me towards the door, leaving me to scream crude, vile things at Cooper as we went. 

Oliver didn't stop or put me down until he had jogged down the steps and carried me towards the beach, away from the house. I stopped yelling once the fresh air cleared my mind, but the people littering Tommy's backyard got an earful, and I got plenty of people staring at me like I was insane.

In that moment, I felt like I was.

Finally, Oliver set me on my feet, his hands immediately touching my face, his eyes focused on me, trying to understand. I let his fingers in my hair calm me down as I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.

He waited.

I finally opened my eyes, "How the hell did he get in there?"

Oliver gaped, "I-I don't know. He was in the house when I saw him. I didn't recognize him, so I introduced myself and he told me he was a friend of yours at your old school."

I narrowed my eyes, "He was not my friend."

"Felicity, I'm sorry. I thought it would be fun to get to know an old friend of yours...I didn't know..." I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling tears springing to my eyes. "Is he..." Oliver trailed off, and I knew what he was asking.  _Is he the one who hurt you?_  I nodded quickly, hearing Oliver let out a sharp curse. "What do you want to do?" He asked.

I opened my eyes. "What?"

"You tell me, baby. Do you want me to drag his ass out of there? Call the cops? Beat the shit out of him? Whatever you want, just tell me."

"I want him gone, away from our friends." I croaked, "and then I want to go home."

The demon was not going back in its cage though, seeing Cooper had released it, wreaking havoc on my mind. In fact, it felt like it was slowly trying to infect the rest of me. The locks had broken, the floodgates were open, and I could feel it all coming rushing back. "I thought I put this behind me," I cried.

Oliver pulled me into his arms, holding me between them protectively. Kissing the top of my head while one hand smoothed my hair and the other rubbed my back, I tried to let him soothe me. He always did.

I tried.

But all I could feel was three years worth of pent up anger and sadness coming down on me. "I want to go home," I said, feeling my chest tightening. "Please, Oliver."

He took my hand, guiding me around the house towards the driveway, holding out his keys. "Wait in the car, I'll get him out of here and be right there."

I nodded, taking them from his hand with shaking fingers but not letting go of his other hand. Oliver sighed, glancing up at the house with murder in his eyes. He walked with me to the car, opening the passenger door and helping me in. Then he reached over me to start the car, turning the heat on and pointing the vents at me. "Okay?" He asked, meeting my eyes.

I nodded, sucking my bottom lip into my mouth to stop it from quivering. 

I didn't want him to leave, but I didn't want to go back in there. And I sure as hell wanted Cooper out. Oliver kissed me quickly before closing the door and running up to the house. 

Focusing on my breathing, I turned the radio to the most relaxing station that I knew, closing my eyes. I had no idea why Cooper had come here. I had no idea how he even knew what city I was in, let alone what school I went to or graduation party I would be at. 

My breathing became shallow again when the front door swung open and crashed against the side of the house, Cooper was literally being thrown out the door, landing on his back. I panicked for a moment, just seeing him causing my stomach to turn.

Oliver walked calmly outside, towering over him. And I noticed Tommy hovering in the doorway.

My heart began to race. But Cooper couldn't see me.

And he looked more terrified than I'd ever seen him as he held his hands out, begging Oliver not to hurt him. Every time those creepy eyes were on me, they were intent on scaring, intimidating, and exploiting. Now though, all I saw was a terrified little boy. Oliver lurched over him, sinking to one knee and delivering a blow to Cooper's face that made me flinch.

I was certain that I heard bones cracking. Cooper screamed accordingly. Oliver hesitated, his eyes flickering up to me as his breath came in heavy pants. I could tell that his breathing wasn't labored from the exertion, or any kind of excitement. He was breathing deeply, trying to control himself.

And then he looked back down at Cooper, only giving him a moment to recover before he bent over again, winding up to strike him in the jaw. Cooper's head flung back, bashing into the pavement.

And then he was... _sobbing_. Full-on hysterical. I couldn't take my eyes away. I was finding way more pleasure in watching him blubber in pain as he begged for Oliver to stop, than was sane. But I was fascinated, watching the face that haunted me, the one that sneered at me in my nightmares crumple like the frightened, pathetic person that he was. 

I opened the door and climbed out of the car, catching Oliver's attention. His gaze was on me as I approached. 

Cooper's weeping was louder now that I was out of the car, and I could see the tears on his face. As twisted as it made me feel, this was how I wanted to remember him.

My monster: afraid. Harmless. Weak and alone like the way he had made me feel.

I forced myself to look away from him, to glance up at Oliver who was still breathing heavily as he watched me. His knuckles on one hand were bloody but besides that, he was unaffected by this fight. If you could even call it a fight. Feeling the shield of Oliver Queen around me, I knelt down next to Cooper.

Oliver stepped closer, but he didn't speak.

I stared at Cooper, feeling imperturbable with the strong, protective presence that hovered behind me. Now that Oliver had stripped Cooper of the intimidating cloud he'd hung over my head, I was pretty sure that I could take him. If he hadn't drugged me, violated me like only cowards knew how,  _this_  was who he was. And  _this_  was no one to be afraid of. Cooper glanced up at me, then his eyes flew to Oliver, "Please, Felicity-"

I could feel Oliver's tension, resisting the urge to hit Cooper again. But he still didn't move, didn't speak. And I realized that he was giving me this moment, this closure. So I took it.

"Why did you do it?" I asked quietly. I kept my eyes on Cooper, but I could see Oliver's back stiffen as he clenched his fists.

"Why-wha?"

"Why did you do what you did...to me?"

He opened and closed his mouth, his lips bloody as his chin quivered. "I don't know, I-I'm sorry."

"I want to see you behind bars, Cooper."

"I-I promise I won't ever hurt another girl like that.  _Ever_  again."

Startling me, Oliver lunged forward, grabbing him by his collar and yanking him off the ground. Oliver began to whisper something in Cooper's ear, but I couldn't make out a word of it. Then Cooper started crying again, and when I glanced down at his pants, I saw a dark wet spot on his crotch.

Raising my eyebrows, I looked at Oliver.

He dropped Cooper, shoving him back towards the ground with more force than necessary. And Cooper started crawling away. I stared at him, watching as he stood up and started moving quickly towards his car, pulling out his keys as he ran. I had no desire to stop him, but I looked up at Oliver. He kept his eyes on Cooper until the car was out of sight, and then he leaned down, putting his hands under my armpits and picking me up.

As he set my feet on the ground, I asked, "What did you say to him?"

"I told him that he was going to walk his ass into the nearest police station and confess. And that he'd be prepared with any evidence he needed to make sure that he ended up in jail."

My eyebrows shot up, "It was three years ago...How did you...You don't actually think he'll do it, do you?" Oliver just pinched his lips together, and I could tell that he fully expected Cooper to turn himself in. "Oliver, you literally made him piss his pants."

Oliver shrugged, "I made some threats to motivate him."

I laughed once, "Even if he doesn't serve any time, he's going to be looking over his shoulder waiting to see you standing there for the next decade."

Oliver's jaw was tense, and he nodded. "I hope so."

"Thank you, Oliver."

He watched me hesitantly, "For punching him?"

I shook my head. "For showing me who he really is." I sighed, wrapping both of my arms around his neck. "I've been afraid of that face for so long, and now I'll never forget the look on it tonight, when he found out what it's like to feel powerless. He took so much from me, more than I even realized, and I just..." I pulled back to look up at him, "being with you has reminded me of who I am. And this," I gestured at the pavement, "reminded me that I don't have to be this afraid of life."

Oliver wiped my tears away with his thumbs, swallowing down his own emotion as he nodded slowly. He pulled me back into his chest.

When Tommy came outside, I picked my head up, offering a weak smile.

But Tommy stared at me with an unreadable expression. "You okay, Smoak?" he asked.

I shrugged, "I've had worse days." I tried to joke, feeling Oliver cringe.

Tommy paced in front of us, letting out a deep breath. "It was my fault."

I froze. And Oliver froze. We both stared at him. "What?" I whispered.

"I know Cooper," he said so quietly, I almost didn't hear him. "I invited him here. He said he went to school with you a few years ago but told me not to tell you that he was coming. I just-I thought he was your friend and that he wanted to surprise you or something, I had no idea-" Tommy stopped, his jaw clenching as his hands gripped his hips.

"You know him?" Oliver asked, confused.

"Yeah, I met him a couple summers ago in Coast City when my family went on vacation."

"You've never mentioned him." Oliver said. Tommy's eyes stayed on mine, softening, apologizing. I just felt confused.

"He was just a kid I met. I'd party with him whenever my family went out there. I didn't know he-I mean, I didn't even know that he knew  _you_  until today, Smoak." 

Tommy was still watching me, his eyes begging me to forgive him. "If you partied with him..." I said slowly, "how did you not know...what he did...?" I trailed off. I knew that most of Cooper's buddies were aware of the drugs he'd had that night. I knew, after that night when I went digging, that Cooper had even sold the Rohypnol to some of them. If I had had the time or energy to ruin all of their lives too, I would have.

My view of Tommy, everything I thought I loved about him, became tainted in my mind by that connection to Cooper. It only took a moment for my head to equate the friend standing in front of me with the boys that allowed Cooper to hurt me that night. The ones who didn't stop him. The boys that had encouraged it, ignored it, or tried to do the same thing by buying the drugs off of him. The buddies that Cooper partied with...just like Tommy.

"Smoak," he said desperately, stepping closer to me. I instinctively stepped back, moving out of Oliver's arms. My eyes filled with tears and I held my hand up in warning. I wanted to puke. "I swear to you, Felicity," he said, using my first name for maybe the first time since we'd met, "I didn't know. I didn't know about what happened to you until-until right now. And I'm so sorry. I had no clue that he...I just didn't know."

"How!?" I cried. "How did you not know!? You  _partied_  with him!? I learned firsthand what  _partying_  means to Cooper Seldon, Tommy!" My voice hurt from all the screaming I'd done tonight. Tommy just shook his head, hanging it to the ground. "I don't...I don't know if I believe you." I said, raising my shoulders.

Tommy moved towards me, and Oliver stepped in front of him, placing both hands on his chest. "Not right now, Tommy." He said quietly. "Please just let this go for now. It's been a long night, and if you take one more step towards Felicity when she doesn't want you near her... I don't want to have to do something we'll both regret."

Tommy hesitated, eyeing Oliver as if he wasn't sure he bought it.

I did.

When Tommy ignored Oliver and started coming towards me again, Oliver shoved him back. "Back off, Tommy! I mean it."

I took a deep breath. Despite everything, I didn't want to cause more conflict between them. I had no idea if I could trust Tommy anymore, but I could see that Oliver did. Oliver believed him. But I could also see that if Tommy kept pushing it, Oliver would react. "Can we just go?" I asked him, reaching for his hand and lacing my fingers through his.

"Smoak..."

"Tommy, I don't want to talk to you!" I yelled, pulling Oliver away more for Tommy's safety than my own, not wanting to stick around and see who was right about Oliver's promise.

Even if Tommy was shady, I knew he wouldn't lay a hand on me. That wasn't it.

I just couldn't look at him anymore.

Dragging Oliver to the car, I held my breath until the doors were closed and Oliver was pulling out of the driveway. Glancing at Tommy one more time, he stared right at me, his eyes hurt and remorseful. And I looked away, not ready or willing to feel sorry for him. Oliver glanced over at me as he drove, reaching out to stroke my cheek. I caught his hand in mine, inspecting the blood. I was pretty sure that most of it was Cooper's, but Oliver would definitely have some marks on his skin. "I'm fine, honey." He said gently, twisting his hand over and intertwining his fingers with mine.

"Oliver..." I said lowly.

I knew exactly what I was going to say, but I watched as Oliver's other hand tightened on the steering wheel in anticipation.

I waited for him to look at me. He inhaled as his gaze met mine, his eyes wary. 

I took a deep breath. "I love you."


End file.
